PODCAST EPISODE № 10

Now That You’re Open to Dating, Where Do You Begin?

by Anita Charlot

Listen to Now That You’re Open to Dating, Where Do You Begin?:

Hello again, beautiful! By now, you realize that filling your time with “busy work” is no longer as satisfying as it used to be.

If you listened to episodes 08 and 09, you are well aware of the need to make time in your schedule, but you may not know exactly how a high-achieving executive woman should do so. If you did the work in Part 1 (episode 8), you’re almost there. If not, I would invite you to pause this episode and start from the beginning with episode 8.

So let’s move on!

Have you taken my free video training, “Can He Handle Your Grind?” Girl, what are you waiting for? It is not just for single women; it’s also for women already in a relationship or married. Click here to access the training. Once inside, you will understand why you can’t seem to attract the right one, how you woke up one day and realized you married the wrong one and what you can do about it.

What You Learn:

How to manage your time for yourself and for potential partners
Tips for utilizing your calendar to fit in your priorities, time for yourself, and even time to date!
Techniques for visualizing your “Perfect Relationship Scenario” and creating your “Purrfectly Authentic Vocabulary” to attract your perfectly imperfect partner
How to activate your attraction power!

Featured on the Show:

Take the free video training Can He Handle Your Grind? and learn more about your relationship habits than you thought possible in an hour!
Learn more about how you can work directly with Anita
Love the show? Leave a review of the show in Apple Podcasts (click the link to find out how).
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Episode Transcript

Hello again, beautiful! 
    
By now, you realize that filling your time with “busy work” is no longer as satisfying as it used to be. If you listened to episodes 08 and 09, you are well aware of the need to make time in your schedule, but you may not know exactly how a high-achieving executive woman should do so.  If you did the work in Part 1 (episode 8), you’re almost there. If not, I would invite you to pause this episode and start from the beginning with episode 8. 
    
So let’s move on!

Now that you’ve completed your homework from episode 8, I want you to pull out that worksheet you downloaded from the show notes in episode 8, grab your pen, and prepare to take notes. This will be part podcast, part informational, somewhat of a workshop, could be considered a class, so I need you to be prepared with your pen and worksheet, and possibly your journal.
    
Let’s jump right into it:
    
Number 1: Take inventory of where you are currently spending your time. Again, if you did the Energy Wheel exercise, you know exactly where that is. 
    
Number 2: Give yourself permission to start saying “NO” to the things you do not HAVE to be involved in. It’s ok not to go to every birthday party, family gathering, book signing, or charitable event. Let them miss you for a change.
    
Number 3: Determine what days you can set aside time to begin focusing on your love life. Now that you have completed your Relationship Energy Wheel, you are clear on what you can stop doing altogether, what you can do on occasion, and what is necessary.  And if you did not break things down per day of the week, do so now before going on to the next step. I find for me, the calendars that list, not just the weekly calendars but have the hours of the day on every day. One would call it an academic calendar, but it starts at like 6 am and it goes to 10 at night. I would advise you to purchase one of these, or you can find them online. For me, I like writing things down. So I have a combination of written calendars and Google calendars, but for this exercise, since this is your first time doing this, I need you to get an academic calendar so that you can block off time. You can see where you have 30 minutes here, one hour there, things like that. So I want you to go through your calendar, and I want you to block off the hours that you are at work. So for example, in the corporate world, I work from eight to five. So I block that time, eight to five, in my daily calendars. And then that lets me know that from five until the time I go to bed, then I have five hours available. So if I have a client call, I block off that time. If I have research to do, I block off that time. If I have to write the podcast, I block off that time. But I need you to get really clear on where your time is going. When you’re looking at your Energy Wheel, you’re going to see all the names of the things, people that you spend time with, give time to, and see all the churches and organizations that you give time to. Put every single thing on your calendar, because I need you to see where your time is going. 
    
Number 4: Set aside two 1-hour blocks of time; 1 hour during the week in the evening (or based on what your schedule is); the other hour during the weekend. These are potential date times.   If you’ve taken the “Can He Handle Your Grind?” video training, then you know what type of person you want. If you’re athletic and you want to go on a run together, then you know your time should probably be in the morning or depending on what your likes are and what you would consider to be a good first date, then just make sure that you’re available during those times. My suggestion will be one morning hour and one evening hour, and you can do either one during the week or on the weekend. It’s your choice, but I need you to set aside one hour on any particular day, during the week, and one hour on any particular day on the weekends. Figure out a time that you can keep consistently so that your brain knows, your family knows, your employees know, your organization’s know that you are not available. Let’s just say on a Monday from six to seven, or on a Saturday from two to three, your choice. But I need you to get in the habit of setting aside two hours a week for yourself. Even if you’re not currently in the market today, this is just something that you should do as a busy woman to make sure that you calendar time for yourself. For me, if it’s not on the calendar, and I have many calendars. If it’s not listed on the calendar, it doesn’t get done.
    
Number 5: I want you to use these time blocks, in the beginning, to spend time alone taking inventory of your past relationships and any unresolved feelings/issues/blocks that may be standing in your way. If you remember from the last episode, now that you know Blane’s success while working with me, and if you would like to apply to work with me, you can do so by going to https://anitacharlot.com/services, and I would be happy to support you. 
    
Number 6: Hire a baby/pet/house/parent sitter or schedule a 1:1 coaching session during these time blocks so that you can focus on yourself. A word of warning: your household, employees, business partners, anyone you’ve been giving attention to previously may object in the beginning and try to make you feel guilty for not filling this time with something that they want you to do. Don’t fall for it! This is perfectly normal, and if you have a habit of starting and stopping things in the past, they will see this as another “new thing” and not take you seriously. I need you to stick to it; make it a point to set aside this time solely for you, even if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom to do it. 
    
Number 7: Begin to get clear on the spirit of the man that will be a compliment to your life, not a complication. How will you know him when you see him if you’re not clear on what he looks like, what he feels like, and what he sounds like? To help you with this, I’ve created a free video training, “Can He Handle Your Grind?” In other words, “how to figure out what you want!” You can access the training here bit.ly/canhehandleyourgrind, but be sure to bookmark the page so that you can return to it whenever you want.
    
Number 8: Grab a journal and begin to write out (in present tense) a “Perfect Day Relationship Scenario”. I want you to create a work-day scenario and a weekend-day scenario as though you were already living it today. I go into more detail of how to do this in the “Can He Handle Your Grind?” training video. Be very detailed and descriptive, and be sure to put pen to paper and not your computer. Want to know why? Writing things down activates the brain’s hippocampus. It not only helps you to get clear on the look, feel, sound, and energetic type of relationship you want, but it also improves the encoding process, which is your ability to be able to identify the “right one” when you meet him.
    
Number 9: Begin defining the terms you used to describe him, how he made you feel, etc. I call this the Purrfectly Authentic Vocabulary exercise; define the term, describe it again, and then one more time to make sure that you are clear on what it looks feels, and sounds like so you will know when you see it. This exercise originated in the Internal Groundwork section in my book “The 5 Phases of Dating ~ The Grown-Ass Woman’s Guide to Attracting and Maintaining Authentic Relationships.” I have since then taken this information deeper in the “Can He Handle Your Grind!” video course. So be sure to get access to that course!
    
Number 10: I need you to activate your attraction power. We have the ability to attract into our lives exactly what we want and what we don’t want. Why not spend the energy attracting what you do want? This is exactly how I attracted my husband. How do you do this? You behave as IF he is already in your life. You talk to him during the day, spend time with him, or preparing yourself for him during the times that you set aside. Use visualization to see yourself in the relationship of your dreams; even if you are already in a relationship and it isn’t as “warm and fuzzy” as you would like it to be, you can still affect the change in the spiritual realm. Hear him speak to you the way you want him to. Hear him apologize for anything that you’re still harboring ill feelings for. Feel him holding your hand, rubbing the small of your back, kissing you on the neck whatever you want. Visualize it happening.
    
Want to learn about the five different phases of dating and how to maneuver them? You can head on over to Amazon, and grab your very own copy of “The 5 Phases of Dating ~ The Grown-Ass Woman’s Guide to Attracting and Maintaining Authentic Relationships.”
    
Simply go to – bit.ly/5podautographedcopy for an autographed copy or – https://amzn.to/2oR7UC7 For Amazon Paperback and Kindle.
    
And if you listened to the entire episode, and you didn’t do your homework from episode eight, or episode nine, go ahead and head on over to episodes eight and nine. Then you are more than welcome to come back here and listen to this episode again.
    
Thank you so much! I look forward to seeing you in Part 4. website