PODCAST EPISODE № 44

Finding (Then Using) Your Voice in the Corporate Arena

by Anita Charlot

Listen to Finding (Then Using) Your Voice in the Corporate Arena:

There was a time when I would choke up during meetings or conversations. It’s always happened when I wanted to express myself naturally but didn’t want to be labeled as the angry or aggressive Black woman when I prefer to be more direct.

Has this happened to you?

You know exactly what you want to say in your own way, but you hesitate and frantically search your mind for the more soft or corporately acceptable words to get your point across, only to sound like a babbling fool. It used to happen quite often.

Now that I have found my authentic voice and have become comfortable using it, I want to share why I think you must do the same.

Grab a pen and a piece of paper or head on over to download the show notes so that you can refer back to this lesson and self-acceptance later.

Let’s get started.

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What You Learn:

How you can begin to use your voice and speak up at work!
That shying away from sharing your thoughts and opinions wastes time and resources
All about the Agile Project Management Methodology and how it could work for you!
How my experience as a military sergeant and single mom of two helped me streamline the way I run my business

Featured on the Show:

How to Date Successfully as a Professional Woman, 10 Tip Download Signature Course
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Episode Transcript

Hey there, beautiful. 
If you ever stumbled over your words in the middle of a conversation or meeting…
…you’re not alone!!!
I have done this and continue to do it on occasion, but not nearly as often as I used to, and here’s why: 
As a former sergeant in the military, a mom of two sons, a business owner with contractors located all over the world, and a coach that was once called a cross between Iyanla Vanzant and Dr. Phil, being direct and getting straight to the point is my superpower. 
Where I get tripped up is in the corporate space. 
Some teams speak directly, share their concerns, and are not treated differently. These teams are primarily male. Then there is the expectation that women should be soft spoken, placate everyone’s feelings to be liked, or if they speak out, they are called emotional, or in my case, angry or aggressive Black woman. 
Let me tell you why this doesn’t work for me and a few examples to prove my point:

In the military, as your leader, it was my job to assess the situation and determine the best way to get through it with the least amount of conversation, damage, or harm to the troops. If we were about to enter a battlefield, I didn’t have time to vote on who thought this was the way to go or not, nor did I have the time to debate the decision that I had made or wait until everybody was on board before we made our move. 
It was my job to make the instructions plain enough for everyone to understand without adding in any fluff or feelgood words, to minimize the chance of someone misunderstanding the mission. 
In this scenario, we didn’t have time to waste. Lives were at stake, and if I as the leader have proven myself to be knowledgeable and worthy of respect, as well as willing to listen to differences of opinion when able, the troops will follow with no hesitation.

Now as a single parent of two children, my boys have very different personalities. What worked for one did not work for the other. There were times when I gave them a choice, but the choice always led to what I knew needed to be done. Having to keep the lights on, food on the table, work, go to school handle all medical, emotional and physical needs while dealing with two different dads, but then I did not have the emotional space to beat around the bush or be diplomatic in every situation.

They – my boys – will tell you that I was tough, but they were never confused about my love for them or my expectations, whether they liked them or not.

Being in the military, a single mom of two boys, an employee, a student, and a small business owner meant that I needed to run a tight ship within my business while being on a shoestring budget.

The only way to accomplish this was by trimming the fat.

I built my own computer and my own website and even bound my first book of poetry for two reasons: budget and experience. I needed to know precisely how long it would take for someone else to do it, so that I wouldn’t get overcharged in the future. 
I hired contractors outside of the US to carry out business tasks. Due to the language barriers and the lack of capital, I learned to be very clear and detailed about what I needed them to do so there was no room for misinterpretation or rework. 
Keeping it simple was a model I learned in the military, but I have fully integrated it into my everyday life since then.

As a dating relationship and marriage coach for executive women, getting straight to the point is expected. Women that serve at this level have very little time, are often ready for things to change, and realize that they can’t do it alone. 
So they come to me. 
She doesn’t have a lot of time and has spent the majority of her career climbing the corporate ladder by being able to see what others were not and make changes and receive promotions along the way. Now don’t get me wrong, she’s not helpless by any means and appreciates having someone to give it to her straight while supporting her and understanding her plight at the same time. If I would have beat around the bush with her, she would not appreciate it or recommend my services to her network.

So you see, when I’m presented with a situation in the corporate space where I have to beat around the bush or try to figure out a way to say something that leaves room for interpretation, I get tongue tied.

It’s not that I don’t know what to say, it’s that since I’m not being authentic, my brain has a glitch. And I come across as though I’m unable to express myself.

I prefer a healthy debate whenever possible, an opportunity to share exactly what’s on my mind in my way, and have it be received as just that without labels, and then an honest dialogue about the topic at hand. 
I’m not expected to be right, but if team members cannot speak clearly, how on earth is the business going to move in the direction they wanted it to, not having at least heard all sides of the argument? 
There are times when I get an intuitive hunch about a particular situation and find it helpful to talk it out in my own words, so that we can then have an entire conversation about it with the larger team. 
In the past, this has served us well as it brings to light the things that others have either been afraid to say, or have tried to say with so many feel-good and corporate babble terms, that the message was lost entirely. 
Again, wasting time, money and resources.

A perfect example of this in the workplace is practicing the Agile Project Management Methodology. I love the Agile method because everything is planned out. Everyone knows what role they play, and all follow the same process.

The work is captured on the backlog, added to a sprint, which has a time span of two weeks with an end day. Nothing new gets added to that sprint, it goes on the next sprint. So the definition of done is clear, all thoughts are captured, all things are discussed, and you move forward within that two week time. There is no hemming and hawing or time wasted on getting everyone’s feedback or buy-in, things get done in two weeks versus seven months and you’re on to the next thing. 
It’s the clarity, the ownership, the agreement and the turnaround time that I appreciate so much about this methodology. 
This aligns with the way my brain works and allows the opportunity for debate while still getting the work completed.

Am I stating that if you want to find your voice in corporate America, you need to be in it and work on an Agile team? 
Not at all.

But you can learn a lot about the importance of having open direct discussions, while continuing to move the mission forward from them.

Now there are levels to all of this, nuances and other factors to consider when speaking up in every area of your life, so do not take this podcast as the final say, or a specific set of instructions for you to follow. 
If you need help finding and then learning how to use your voice in your particular situation in your particular corporate arena, I’m right here to coach you through it.

Every person is different and we come from different backgrounds and have had different life experiences that color how we see and interact with the world.

You deserve to be uniquely you and accepted for it. 
You just need to know how to do so. 
Until next time!

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Finding (Then Using) Your Voice in the Corporate Arena

PODCAST EPISODE № 44

Finding (Then Using) Your Voice in the Corporate Arena

by Anita Charlot

Listen to Finding (Then Using) Your Voice in the Corporate Arena:

What You Learn:

Featured on the Show:

Episode Transcript

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"Can He Handle Your Grind?"

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PODCAST EPISODE № 44

Finding (Then Using) Your Voice in the Corporate Arena

by Anita Charlot

Listen to Finding (Then Using) Your Voice in the Corporate Arena:

What You Learn:

Featured on the Show:

Episode Transcript

Enjoy the Show?

IF YOU LIKE IT, SHARE IT

Get the free video training..."Can He Handle Your Grind?"

podcast

stay in touch

Get the free video training...
"Can He Handle Your Grind?"