PODCAST EPISODE № 51

The Town Hall – My Corporate Undressing

by Anita Charlot

Listen to The Town Hall – My Corporate Undressing:

If you haven’t listened to the previous episode, you will want to pause here and do so, as this is a continuation. Listening to the last episode is not a requirement, but it will tee up this conversation and give you context for this one.

At the end of the last episode, I promise to tell you what happened during the Town Hall, so that’s where we will begin.

I will then share my thoughts as a Black woman in corporate America on how that company approached DEI from an inclusive perspective.

While I may not have operated in the DEI space as a leader, it affects me directly, and although organizations may have great intentions, they are often not adequately prepared to do it with the whole person in mind.

See you inside…

What You Learn:

The goings-on of the Town Hall as mentioned in last week’s episode
My co-worker’s reaction as I pulled back the curtain on the experiences I had as a Black woman in corporate America
The support I received following that Town Hall and the relief I felt
The importance of understanding your privilege and identifying your blind spots

Featured on the Show:

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Episode Transcript

Hey there, beautiful. Let’s jump right in! 
The Town Hall.

If you know me, then you know I am a woman who doesn’t speak just to hear my own voice and may not be the first to comment, but when I do, you can expect it to be in a manner that leaves little to the imagination. You never have to wonder what I meant, nor is there room for you to get my message confused. I’ve always been that way.

People mistake introverts for being shy and unable to speak up for themselves. Quite the contrary! We don’t like to waste our time or energy trying desperately to be seen or being the loudest in the room just to get attention, but when we speak up passionately, it’s time to listen.

The company wanted to address the civil unrest that was taking place in the world. They held several town halls, one for each group, meaning Black and Indigenous people of color, to speak about their experiences and what the company could do to improve things.

At the town hall, the rules was shared in the beginning about it being a safe place where a few people would share their experiences so that others could hear directly from them and understand what life was like as a person of color.

Was I nervous? Absolutely.

Here I was, an individual that held a highly visible position and position of power and carried myself in a way that was completely contradictory to my life experience outside of work. I’ve never really mastered the corporate-speak thing when I express myself, I prefer to do it my way, hand gestures and all, which in certain rooms can make me look less polished.

This wasn’t a time to posture and put on my corporate best. This was a time to be really real.

This will possibly be the first time many of my White co-workers on the call would ever come this close to someone that had these life experiences and was willing to talk about them.

So when it was my turn, I shared my truth in my way.

I talked about how Black women had to behave differently in corporate America, how I had chosen not to put the pictures of my children up on my desk as a single mom because I knew if I did, it would be career suicide. How? Because I had overheard other White managers talk about other single Black mothers stating that they would never promote them because they would be late to work, they would have to call in sick more often than someone who was married or would have baby-daddy drama. How I rarely took a day off to chaperone a school trip, participate in the PTA bake sales, or go to a game, a band rehearsal, track meets, you name it. I didn’t want to be labeled and I couldn’t afford to lose those days. I needed to save all of my vacation or sick days, or the days when the kids were not in school.

While on the other hand, my White sometimes married counterparts were leaving in the middle of the workday to do those same things. It was normal for them to take off and just as normal for their Black co-workers to do their work, or pick up the slack while they were gone. It was expected.

I shared how during my first marriage, I would have just had the police at my house the night before due to a domestic disturbance, but had to show up at work with a smile and act like nothing was wrong, only to arrive at the office and have to help Karen through a crisis of not having her particular tea and stock that morning… Really, Karen??

How my White counterparts would share just enough information with me about how to do a particular job to then throw me under the bus when my boss complained that I didn’t do things correctly so that she could come to the rescue.

I shared had been lied to, lied on, deceived, sexually harassed, and inappropriately touched, and had to take it so I wouldn’t cause trouble for the White people out of fear of losing my job as the only breadwinner in my home. I shared how I had worked a full-time job and a part-time job while being a reservist in the military and starting my business on the side to be able to keep a roof over our heads.

I shared how my son’s father called Child Protective Services on me, accusing me of neglect when he was actually angry for having to pay child support and the woman upstairs would be watching the kids for me whenever I needed her to.

As I was sharing, my computer kept dinging with emails and Skype messages from White co-workers who had no idea that this was my experience. Several shared that they were in tears, that they would never have known that this had been my experience because I was always so pleasant to be around and that they didn’t know if they could have survived all that I did and still be on top of things as I was.

One White male coworker even share with me how hearing my story made him realize just how racist his father was. Because of the racist comments that his father continued to make and the emails he continued to send to the family, he actually stopped talking to his father.

The outpour of concern was great. It gave over 400 people on the call the inside view of what it was like to be a Black woman in corporate America.

It’s shown everyone that you never know a person’s story, their whole story and that it’s not actually safe for everyone to bring their authentic selves to work. It showed that for you to truly understand the employees you have on your team, you need to do a bit more homework on your own about their experiences versus listening to your co-workers or even trusting your own experience.

You really need to understand your privilege, you need to identify your blind spots.

I shared my experience during a time of civil unrest, the generational trauma that Black people have suffered that was removed from the history books, lied about, glossed over, and ignored, was bubbling up to the surface.

We were angry, we were hurt. We were overwhelmed, and we were being targeted.

The entire world saw what was happening. Allies were everywhere, big hearts, tons of action, and our injustices were now on display for the world to see.

Finally, we couldn’t be silenced anymore. What was done in the dark was now coming to light, and we were now being asked to educate White people on the atrocities we had suffered, and to share the truth about Black history.

For a period of time, my White ally, friends, counterparts, and small business owners were looking to me for me to help them understand how to be better allies. How could they help the plight of Black people, and where could they learn more? 
And while I wanted to help them, I wanted it all to stop.

I didn’t want to be the voice of Black people. I didn’t want to continue to be the safe Black girl that White people could come to and ask race-related questions. I was in pain.

Things that have happened to Black people that were not made public were being splattered on the news, social media, emails, old movies, documentaries, you name it, it was everywhere. I couldn’t escape it. My soul hurt.

I knew they meant well, but no amount of me sharing in a public forum would teach anyone how to touch their soul, rethink their connection to people of color, their families, their friends, or their Ivy League suburban experiences, at least not help them understand the background to the degree that only a person of color would.

This is a journey they would need to embark upon themselves.

Because if I tried, I knew it would shatter their understanding of themselves as they knew it and would probably require a bit of therapy. As a coach, I could not open that door and then not be there as they worked to close it. This would be irresponsible.

My husband said I should be in the DEI space years ago. I don’t think I could officially operate in the DEI space and not be affected emotionally, but I can no longer sit on the sideline.

Since George Floyd’s murder, and all of the trauma that it brought to many Black people, I have made it my business to identify a way to bring awareness and inclusion of the whole person in the corporate space.

The town halls at this company were effective, inclusive, healing, and yielded great conversations and takeaways. They considered the whole person and the best way to show their support at that time.

Not sure where things landed with all of the initiatives that were born of these town halls, as I no longer work there, but being able to bring my whole self to that town hall, I know made a huge impact, and that is the goal of everything I do.

My goal is now to heal the soul of corporate America.

As a doctor of metaphysical psychology, you can just call me The Corporate Metaphysician.

Want to have me come talk to your leadership or DEI teams to learn more about how to heal the soul of your company? Reach out to me via that contact page on my website:  AnitaCharlot.com/Contact.

See you in the next episode…

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The Town Hall – My Corporate Undressing

PODCAST EPISODE № 51

The Town Hall – My Corporate Undressing

by Anita Charlot

Listen to The Town Hall – My Corporate Undressing:

What You Learn:

Featured on the Show:

Episode Transcript

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PODCAST EPISODE № 51

The Town Hall – My Corporate Undressing

by Anita Charlot

Listen to The Town Hall – My Corporate Undressing:

What You Learn:

Featured on the Show:

Episode Transcript

Enjoy the Show?

IF YOU LIKE IT, SHARE IT

Get the free video training..."Can He Handle Your Grind?"

podcast

stay in touch

Get the free video training...
"Can He Handle Your Grind?"