PODCAST EPISODE № 56

Candid Conversations with Phenomenal Executive Women: Joy Acaso

by Anita Charlot

Listen to Candid Conversations with Phenomenal Executive Women: Joy Acaso:

Hello, beautiful! Join us today on the podcast for a candid conversation with the phenomenal Joy Acaso!

For the longest time, Joy didn’t truly know life outside of her family, cousins, and school friends. She was born in the Philippines where her day-to-day consisted of going to school and learning about the rest of the world only in books.

At the age of 15, her family moved from her hometown of a few thousand people to Hialeah, FL.

Imagine that!

Little did she know that her eyes were about to be opened WIDE and her heart to start bursting in PURE wonder.

Joy has made South Florida her home since then! She appreciates the life that she and her husband are building together with their children. She is fascinated by the diverse cultures that surround her every day.

In her practice as an Anxiety Support Coach and Family Therapist, Joy values the integrity and uniqueness of every family and individual she meets. She puts awe and curiosity at the forefront because she knows that “one-size-fits-all” can never bring healing.

Joy has made it her mission to spread awareness by utilizing therapy and coaching as a means of helping families bond closer and make their mental health their priority.

See you inside the episode…

What You Learn:

Joy’s personal journey that led her to creating her own business
The importance of looking at the whole person and thinking holistically
A bit of neuroscience and about Joy’s time at the HeartMath Institute
How to reach out to Joy and what service’s she provides!

Featured on the Show:

Reach out and connect with Joy on her website!
Click here to check out What the BLEEP Do We Know!? as mentioned on the show
Follow Joy on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn
Learn more about how you can work directly with Anita
Love the show? Leave a review of the show on Apple Podcasts (click the link to find out how).
Follow me on Instagram!
Find me on Facebook!

Episode Transcript

Anita Charlot:
Hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of candid conversations with phenomenal women. Today, I am in the studio with Joy Acaso. Oh my goodness, I’ve been laughing before the recording, so if you hear an occasional giggle, I’m trying to stop. But that’s just how our conversations go. You guys know that these conversations are supposed to be around 30 minutes, it depends. Once we get started and the conversation gets going, we just keep going. So if it’s too long, we’ll break it up into two episodes. If not, what I’m going to invite you to do is to grab a glass of something, your choice, I don’t care what, doesn’t matter what it is, and just sit back, and you know, act as though you’re sitting in the room with us. Like you’re sitting across the room and you see us talking to each other sitting on a couch because we’re gonna have a conversation like nobody’s here, and we’re inviting you to be a fly on the wall. 
So having said that, I met Joy through a mutual coach of ours, you guys always hear me talk about Dr. Tracy Timberlake as she’s been on the podcast as well. I’ve been sharing some of her recent offerings. The latest offering I shared was something that started today, it was a money mindset masterclass. Right? Yeah. And so that’s how we know each other, and we’ve been getting to know each other more. We’ve been in each other’s virtual space for a couple of years, and now we’re getting to know each other more one on one. And I have to tell you that, you know, sometimes when you meet people online, you see them online, and sometimes are different than when you actually get to talk to them. They’re different than who they appear to be, or they may be different than the persona that you’ve given them online. However, Joy is Joy. She is Joy. Like I had all these thoughts about her, and she was like when we were having the conversation or pre-recording conversation, she’s like, Oh, I love that you know that about me already. I’m like, Yeah, girl, I’m cyberstalking you. I know all about you. And I’ve wanted to have you on the podcast for a while. So I’m going to stop fangirling out, I’m going to allow Joy to introduce herself to you the listener, and then to just share with you what her zone of genius is. And then, as usual, we’re just going to jump right into the conversation. So not 80% This time, Joy. That’s an inside joke, everybody. So I’m gonna let you start and share with the listeners.

Joy Acaso:
Oh, Dr. Anita, thank you so much for having me on your podcast. I’m fangirling too because I’ve learned so, so much from you. I’ve conversed, you know, with you. I live vicariously through your vacations and all the good stuff that God has been blessing you with. So thank you so much for having me here today, and I’ve truly enjoyed our time together for sure.

Anita:
Yeah, thank you. This is amazing. So Joy, I want to let everybody know, you know, that to me, it’s important if you’ve noticed a shift in my business. It’s important for me in these coming podcast episodes to point out and to bring to you people who can help me heal the women of color in corporate America. So I wanted to put that out there to let you know that Joy is in fact a woman of color. Joy, if you can share with our listeners what your nationality is, your race, that will be awesome because those listeners that are not actually looking at your photo, I want them to know who you are and how what you bring to the table is so valid for the listeners.

Joy:
Yes, yes, I was originally born in the Philippines, and moved to the United States because my mom was recruited as a nurse. When I was 15, the whole entire family moved here, and then I’ve lived in Florida since I was 15. I’ve traveled here and there, but definitely like, really, my roots are here in Florida. And now my husband and I are raising our two kids, a 14-year-old daughter, and an eight-year-old son, and it’s been such a great blessing! You know, this season is just like unlearning, and learning, you know, things. And I know you and I talked about how like, what can we do? That’s always a question in my mind, what else can we do? How else can we approach things that, you know, are put in our path? Because my mind is always working, you know, always curious about, okay, if this is not working, what else can be, you know, put into place so that we can make more impact in the world. I am an unlikely executive woman, though. A CEO and entrepreneur never even entered my mind until six years ago, when I started my business. Yeah.

Anita:
So that’s a very interesting story, everyone, I would like for you to share with the listeners how you became an entrepreneur, like that journey, like your original. Let’s make sure that they know what your original… what you started, what your goal was, when you started out in school, and then how things changed. And, and we’ll continue from there, and I’m gonna interject every now and then ask additional questions. So I think you already know that though. Yeah.

Joy:
I went to college, not knowing what I wanted to do. Well, I think I had an idea, but then, you know, my mind started to change. I changed my major so many times, and then at the end of my Bachelor’s, I wrote a paper on social welfare, and that’s how I got interested in social work. I researched about it and I said, Oh, I think this is where I want to, you know, stay in and got my master’s in social work. And then went on to work in community organizations, primarily focusing on youth and families, and then I transitioned into – when we started raising our family when I had our eldest, I transitioned into dialysis social work, medical social work, which I loved. I stayed working there for seven years, and then I realized how much I really liked working one on one with patients or clients which I missed because in dialysis social work, you know, you only get like bits and pieces. We had, like 100 patients in our clinic, and I was the only social work worker, so I had to move fast. There was really no conversation engagement or anything like that. And then I really missed working one on one with people, and that’s when I decided to go into private practice after getting my license in 2011.

Anita:
Wow. It’s so interesting to me how people start with one goal in mind or one major in mind because I also changed my major several times, and so going from… Now, what’s interesting to me, and we talked about this before, but we didn’t get to dive into it, I had never known that that was a specific branch of Social Work like dialysis. I never knew that there was something, I never thought was a thing. So exactly what do you do?

Joy:
Yeah, so it’s more of case management and social – you’re right social work. I didn’t know that either. Actually, to be honest, social workers can be hired in many different areas, and a dialysis social worker is more of a case manager where the patients, really connect with patients. And they’re the liaison between all the disciplines of like, dieticians, doctors, nurses,, and technicians, and so a dialysis social worker would make sure that new patients are getting adjusted to their treatment schedule, do they need transportation? Do they need resources? Very big on resources, and then also a referral for transplant. Transplant specifically, and they guide the patients in making sure that they have all that they need in that area, and also emotional support for sure.

Anita:
Yeah. Wow, I can imagine having been the only one and having 100 patients, it would be hard to really get to know and have that deeper connection with your patients. Because there’s so many and you got to get – you got to handle so… that had to be a lot of paperwork. I’m like, Wait a minute. As I’m talking, I’m thinking at the same time, like, oh my god, 100 to one. I can’t imagine the amount of paperwork that brought about. Okay, at the end of that journey, right, you decided to go into business for yourself. Now, how did that happen?

Joy:
Yes. So speaking of Dr. Tracy Timberlake, right. So I was already being coached by her before Platform even came about, and so I was still working part-time in the private practice, and then full time in dialysis social work. But I was getting so many clients in the private practice, and I was really, really enjoying my time there. And so when I spoke to her, and then she said, you know, Well, what are you waiting for? Like, you know, why don’t you just go full time? And I said, Oh, yeah, what am I waiting for? I was really waiting for anything, and so I spoke to my husband, and you know, he said, Okay, let’s wait two years so you can fill up your caseload. And I said, okay, but then, you know, two months later, I was so burnt out doing two jobs. Oh, and raising two kids. Yes. And so I said, you know, I can’t do this anymore. And so that’s when I became CEO of my private practice. And then it just… God just really opened so many doors for me, after that. The office manager of the group practice that I belong to back then even told me, you know, you have to give me six months to fill up your caseload. And so my husband and I were like, Okay, we got to look into our savings and try to figure out, like, how we’re going to support ourselves, you know, not having the regular income. He said okay, you know, I think we were prepared for that. But lo and behold, after a month, I was fully booked.

Anita:
Wow.

Joy:
Then I started to struggle with my, oh, I was not prepared for this. Yes. And so I was back to back and like, I didn’t know where my time was going. And then I had to, you know, put on the CEO hat, which again, took me so long to really understand.

Anita:
Yeah, yeah. Girl, that’s a whole podcast episode in and of itself, the mindset of a CEO. So I won’t, I won’t ask that question. But, um, what I like to know now, and that’s, you know, it’s always it’s good to have those conversations, right. I’m really happy that you had a husband that was supportive, and that was willing to walk with you through this whole thing. Right? And that you were in a position to make it happen. So moving from social work to dialysis social work to working full time and part-time, and then opening your own practice. I think what you shared with me that there was something missing, there was something missing. And so that led you to the HeartMath Institute. So share with the listeners, what you felt was missing, and then we’ll talk about those things that you identified that you learned in the HeartMath Institute, that you did not learn in your traditional training.

Joy:
Absolutely. You know, in the therapy world we are taught or, and trained to, you know, anyone who walks in and needs help we, we have to help them. And I understand, you know, I understood, I didn’t really have like a specific niche when I started my private practice. And so I was all over the place, and I didn’t, you know, I had children and adults and families and couples. And then I just was not… I felt, or I thought that I wasn’t really making progress with what I wanted, you know, as a clinician, the goal to really see my clients flourish, you know, and also them achieving their own goals in practice. So I started searching, and I said, I stumbled upon HeartMath Institute. And I said, Oh, why… we’re not taught like, this is like, so new to me. Like, we’re not taught this energy, this brain science, this body science, like, those are things that really are not taught in social work, particularly. And so I started to take trainings under HeartMath Institute, and I also met a neuroscience coach through Alycia. Yeah, our common friends.

Anita:
Yes. Who’s also been on the podcast.

Joy:
Yes. So I asked her, I said, Do you like it? Like, you know, tell me a little bit more about the program. And so she raved about the program. And then I signed up and trained. And it’s been amazing since. I was like, you know, thinking about this, actually, yesterday, I said that everything, every training that I’ve gone through, I’m really like the first one. Like, I’m the one that benefits so much. And just really understanding my own brain, my own energy, and it’s like, Oh, I wish it was taught in school, but it’s not.

Anita:
Yeah. I totally understand where you’re coming from. Sometimes we think we’re doing things for the benefit of our clients, and it ends up helping us the most, right. Yeah. So in 2020, I took a trauma-informed yoga training which I thought I was doing for the benefit of my clients, right. You know, I’m just gonna get this additional certification so I can help my clients, and it would have been specifically for the benefit of my clients. If I was only able to take it over the weekend because normally it would be a weekend’s worth of training. You go Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, but because it was COVID, we had to do it virtually. And since it was virtual, you know, when you break up two and a half days over weeks, and it turned into 10 weeks. But that was like the best thing that could have happened for me because had it been that weekend, I would have been in it specifically from an intellectual perspective to learn what I needed to learn to hand off right? But because it was 10 weeks, I had to stop and actually tap into my own trauma. Girl, honey, I was not ready for that. I did not realize that I had buried so much inside because my thing was I want to work with a certain type of client. I don’t want to work with clients who’ve had trauma. So I take this training, and it takes me down into the depths of my own trauma. And I go from having one therapist to 2.5 in order to help me like fast track deal with all of that stuff because you know if I’m gonna do it, being who I am, I’m always an overachiever, right? I’m not gonna wait until 20, 40, 50 more years to grow through it. Let me get in. I see it, it’s here. Let me get in and clean it up and get out. I know what this is. I’m a coach, so I like people to come in who want to get things done. Let’s hit it, let’s get it, let’s put it, let me do the same. So after having gone through that trauma, then I realized how much even particular therapists that I had worked with, didn’t even talk about trauma. They didn’t bring up any of those things that I had identified as trauma for me, they didn’t bring those things up. So when you mentioned certain things you were not taught as a social worker, I recognize now that – and I share those with my clients now – if you have a therapist that doesn’t have a therapist, or if you have a therapist that has not gone back to tap into different modalities, different learning, you know, certifications, to broaden their perspective, that’s not the person that you want. So I saw your certification, I was like, Oh, my God, this is so amazing. I need to take this class too. And I was like, what? Slow down, slow down, slow down. So when you were at the HeartMath Institute, you talked about learning more about neuroscience, and brain health. Coming from being a woman who was doing everything, right, to kids, to jobs, husband, school, all this stuff. What were the thing that you learned at the HeartMath Institute that were so instrumental in helping you as an individual? What stood out most for you? What, what was the thing that you’re like, Oh, my God, I’m so glad I learned this about myself.

Joy:
The energy that comes from the heart, and the electromagnetic waves are measurable. I thought it was woowoo, but I’m sure that I knew there was a science behind it. But you know, HeartMath explains everything. You can grasp it, and so they really measure heart variability, and they even have equipment for it and things like that. And they said that in one of their studies, those who were diagnosed with cancer, traced back their heart variability. And, you know, they were able to pinpoint that irregular heart variability was actually an indication of like, just how your health was going. And so that, to me, was so fascinating because I also wanted to be in the holistic, you know, field where we look at the whole person and how all systems are working together. And you mentioned intellectual, and I was like, Oh, yes, that was me. I was doing everything from an intellectual perspective. And I, you know, as a clinician, especially now, because of what we experienced with COVID. I know, like, there is no way I’m going back to just intellectualizing or just being cognitively aware after that shock that we got from COVID. We really need to be more bodily aware, and so HardMath is huge on that.

Anita:
Yeah. That’s amazing. You know, and you said it, it’s like COVID, the shock of COVID, the trauma of COVID, really shifted, not only me as a person, but yes, it really shook up the foundation of my business, right? Because initially, over the past 20-plus years, I’ve been a dating relationship and marriage coach, you know, focused on helping people find the love, attract, and maintain authentic relationships. You know, that was my whole thing, and then after tapping into my own trauma during COVID, recognizing how I had, you know, just brushed under the rug all of the traumatic experiences that I had. Not just in my personal life, but in the work environment as well, and then seeing all of these companies pop up with all these DEI trainings and hiring all these Black people and, you know, doing all of these performative things, but recognizing that these so-called “diversity, equity and inclusion programs” that they were creating were not touching or were not recognizing the whole person. Having you know, I’m, as you know, I’m working on my, my PhD and metaphysical psychology, so instead of I’m separating that part of myself and just, you know, focusing on relationships. It’s like, no, no, no. Even in the DEI space, if you want to understand the whole person, if you say, you should feel safe to bring your whole self to work, then it means you need to understand what my whole self means. And my whole self is walking into your door, every morning with hundreds of years of multi-generational trauma that is going to dictate how I behave or how I don’t behave. And it can be misunderstood because you don’t know my trauma, right? You haven’t learned my trauma, you just know that you’ve only had two Black people on your team, and now you you’re gonna hire for more now you feel like you check the DEI box and everything is okay. It doesn’t work that way. Right? We have to recognize the differences in individuals based on their whole person based on who they are holistically. So this is where you and I really mesh, you know, in this area. Now, when we talk about, you know, the whole person and recognizing the whole person, you said, I will never go back to being intellectual, or, you know, just traditional social work at all, and that speaks so much to the reason why I refuse to get my degree in psychology in the first place. Because I’ve always been metaphysical, right? And when I was in school, I was like, this is just talking about the mental, but where is the rest? You know, and then the fact that you can’t explain or share your personal life with your clients, if I’m trying to help you move through something, I feel like I should be able to tell you that it’s possible for you not just because I read it in the textbook, but because I’ve lived this. And so being able to bring my whole self to my work, and then to allow that person to bring their whole selves to, you know, to try as a client is so important to me. So I’m so excited that you and I are on the same page when it comes to that. 
Now, when we had our pre-recorded conversation, I was just like, this was heaven. I think I was floating after our conversation, because you talked about the DSM, the Diagnostic Statistical Manual, and the disorders, and you said when I had to take a psychopathology class, and what you started to learn about the manual, you knew that it was more right.

Joy:
It wasn’t clicking.

Anita:
Yeah, you were being asked or told to diagnose people based on what you read in the book. Right? You knew that there was more to it than that. There was more that wasn’t being taken into account. And so, you know, having had the professor as your direct supervisor, I think was a very, as you mentioned, was a very good thing for you. But that’s even having gone through that and having experienced that, you still stated that’s just not something that you wanted to do. You didn’t want to diagnose. You didn’t like diagnosing people, right?

Joy:
Correct. Yeah. That time when I was taking that class, I tried really hard to, but my brain was just not accepting it. It wasn’t connecting for me to, for example, right, just, for example, talk. So we have to do case studies, of course, in order to get used to diagnosing. So, for example, the case was, you know, here’s Susan, and her father passed away two weeks ago, or like a month ago, we’ll say a month ago, and she hasn’t gotten out of bed. She barely talks to anyone, and you know, she’s not connecting with the people that she used to connect with. She’s been more withdrawn. She’s not getting any sleep, and they want us to diagnose her. I mean, what would fit that category would be like, you know, depression or something like that, right? But I’m over here thinking like, Well, her dad just passed away. You want me to write that she has depression? Okay. I mean, I don’t think that it’s a disorder because when you when we diagnose people in that way it’s like a stamp, like, you know, we have to really be sure about what we’re diagnosing. Although it can change over time, and yes, you know, we are allowed to change the diagnosis, but still. I just, you know, I just couldn’t really put them in a box and say, like, well, you have depression. Yeah. So, but your dad just passed away. And like, I understand why she wants to isolate, like, this is a huge deal, like, and so those were the things that I had to really, you know, like, deal with and try to figure out for myself, like, where should I place myself?

Anita:
Right. Yeah. You know, because after you said that to me, after our conversation, I got off the phone, I started thinking, how many Black and Brown people are misdiagnosed? Saying that, you know, they’re schizophrenic, or they have ADD or ADHD, you know, when it could be, you know, something as simple as, or not as simple, but it could be not necessarily those things, but they could be suffering from trauma.

Joy:
Oh, yes.

Anita:
Right. And so when you that, if they could have, you know, be suffering from PTSD or something like that. So when you say that a person has ADD or ADHD, but you’re not really digging deeper to find out where, you know, where the other sources of that behavior could be coming from, or you’re using one book to diagnose White and Black and Brown people. It’s like, they have different upbringings and come from different environments. How do you just, you know, lump everybody in the same category for this particular thing, but you don’t lump everybody in the same category when it comes to equality? We can be equal in the DSM, but we’re not equal… You know?

Joy:
That’s it. That’s, that’s, yeah, that you’re so right.

Anita:
These things started to really affect me, like… I’ll be 57 this year, and I’ve been fighting this, the whole psychology field, I’ve been fighting since my early 20s. In college, not wanting to get… I wanted to help, I always knew I wanted to be in the health field. And so instead of being put in a box, told what I can and can’t say, I got a smart mouth too. So I gotta be careful. I decided to go the metaphysical route, you know, which is more of like, not necessarily religious, but it is a theology degree where you’re like a spiritual psychologist, right?

Joy:
I love that.

Anita:
And that was through the American Institute of holistic theology. Now I’m on the Ph.D. track through the University of Metaphysics, and they now offer a doctorate in metaphysical psychology. So this is, like, really where my heart and soul is, and this is why I’m enjoying having conversations with, you know, phenomenal women like you who are traditionally trained but recognize that there’s something missing, and not just recognizing that there’s something missing but are going out there and finding out what that missing part is, and then bringing that into your practice. So for that, I’m like so grateful to you for having the mind and the spirit to do that. And honey, we got some things to do. We’ve got some things to do!

Joy:
You know, you and I, like, we don’t need validation, right? So you said you’ve been fighting psychology, you know, for you many, many years, and you and I don’t need validation to like, you know, acknowledge, like, what we’re fighting for and why we’re fighting for it in the first place. I think, was it last year or two years ago, I can’t remember, and I don’t remember the exact words, but when the American Psychiatric Association, which is one of the oldest institutions in the world, released a letter of apology stating how they have, quote, unquote, contributed, I believe, to systemic racism, I felt validated. I felt like, Oh, this is why I just could not understand the DSM because they are the authors of the DSM. They’re the ones that approve these things, and so when they released that letter, I was just like, oh! So Dr. Anita, there you go. That’s why!

Anita:
I just, it just didn’t sit well, within my spirit. And this was even before I started getting into metaphysics. I was just like, No, I can’t do this. I want to help, but I’m going to have to help in my way, right? And my way was getting the degree and metaphysics and approaching it from the spiritual side, like, right from the energetic side. And, you know, I do energy work, too. So it’s like, you know, being that person, the woo-woo person, I was willing to wear the woowoo T-shirt, right? Put the woowoo stamp on my head, I didn’t care. But it’s now starting to get back to the place where I feel like, and when they came up with a metaphysical psychology doctorite, I was like, Oh, my God, this is it. This is my jam, right? I gotta do this, I got to do this. But what I’m what I want to do now, what I’m trying to do now, and I had to sit really long and hard with this, Joy. I had to sit so hard and so long with this. I kept asking God, why me? Like, why do you want me to talk to White people about, you know, help them recognize their privilege and then, you know, lead them to, you know, the way of really understanding Black people? Why do I have to do that? You know, why me? I’ve gone through my stuff. And you can’t see me, guys, but I’m doing the Black girl neck roll and the fingers in the air. Why me? They did this to me, and I’ve experienced this, and you’re clearly hurt like I’ve hurt with every other experience in my life. You had to do that. You had to go through that because you consider yourself to be a woman of integrity, and you could not teach something that you had not experienced. Right? Because my thing is, don’t talk to me about X, Y, or Z. If you’ve never gone through X, Y, or Z. If you’ve only read a textbook about X, Y, or Z, and you’ve had a couple of case studies, but you don’t know what it’s like to sit at your home crying 12 o’clock, 1 o’clock in the morning, they don’t talk to me. So apparently, I asked for the Ph.D. in life school program too. That’s one of the things that I’ve experienced. He’s like, now you can talk about it. So for the past two years, or even more than that, my husband has told me, he said you need to be in the DEI space. But I knew that the DEI space that I wanted to be in wasn’t inside of corporate. It wasn’t inside of corporate, I had to figure out how to do it outside of corporate, and I have now figured that out. So while I am now focusing on healing women of color of the trauma that they have experienced in the workplace, I am also willing to be the catalyst to help White people not only recognize their privilege but then heal from that, right, because you have a lot of White people, an ally, people who call themselves allies, who still don’t recognize their privilege.

Joy:
Right, right.

Anita:
And when you challenge them on it, they get defensive because they see themselves as these great allies. I have Black friends, I have, you know, seven people of color on my team of 10 people. Right? But just because you have friends that are people of color, just because you have people on your team that are people of color, unless you really know and take the time to learn about systemic racism and oppression and the trauma that Black people have experienced, you’re still missing the mark. Once somebody points it out to you, it can really it can, it can hurt, right? Because they think that they are doing the best, but when they find out that they’re still participating, then that can be very hurtful. So I am the person to help first bring them into clarity and then to hold the space for them while they grow through it so that they can then learn how to activate their privilege to help people of color.

Joy:
Oh, that’s so good.

Anita:
Girl, it’s been two years I’ve been trying to deliver this baby. I’ve been in labor for two years, and it wasn’t until I went to Cabo where I just disconnected.

Joy:
I’m living vicariously through your vacation!

Anita:
When I came back, it all came together. Because I was like, how am I supposed to do this? What am I supposed to do? Why me? It took was some nice blue, pretty turquoise, blue water. That’s what you need girl, that’s what you need. This is a beautiful space to be in, and years ago, I promised you I could not have a conversation with anybody who was licensed in the psychology field because back then, they were very, like, leery of woo-woo topics. They were downplaying anybody who wasn’t certified. So it was, you know, it was the certified against the non-certified. So now recognizing people like you and other women that will be coming on the podcast that are marrying the two, you have, you know, your licensed, but you also recognize that there was a lot that you were missing. And I’m not saying that I have the answers to everything because I don’t. I’m also conscious about who I work with. There is a portion of their therapy or our coaching where it’s not metaphysical, it is definitely clinical. I will outsource. Because I’m not trying to hurt people, or harm them more than I need to. So I’m clear on that. So now, I’m really excited about now having the opportunity to partner with people who are licensed who can handle those particular aspects so that I can focus on my zone of genius and their zone of genius. Oh, my goodness.

Joy:
Amazing. Like you said, doing it your way. Right? Helping the healing, but doing it your way.

Anita:
Yeah. So tell the listeners, if they heard the podcast, and they wanted to work with you, exactly how do you work with your clients? What do you do? What can you help them with? What is your zone of genius right now?

Joy:
Yes. So I specialize in stress, chronic stress, anxiety, and trauma, for sure, and all of those things can really show up in many different ways, right? You know, it could be in like, constant headaches, or like, I can’t sleep at night or everything feels like a chore to me, everything feels like a burden to me, and things like that. And then I help women navigate through that and really safely dig deeper because safety is my number one concern, you know, meaning that there is a certain readiness for the client to be able to go in deep and excavate anything that they feel led. Because, for me, my clients are in charge. They are the ones that you know, direct our sessions, and I am the guide that comes along, asks the hard questions. I love asking hard questions, breaking down the tools, you know, making sure that tools resonate with them and are meaningful, you know, for them, and then we look at both the cognitive awareness and also somatic work. Where do you feel that in your body, where is it showing up? Where does it hurt, and then we discharge the stress the trauma, you know, in a gentle way, and slowly so that the client can then move into a space of feeling like okay, now I can see clearly. I can see better.

Anita:
Yeah, I’m so glad you said somatic because that was part of my healing journey that year when I said 2.5 and somatic experienced practitioner. That was amazing. If you’ve never heard of somatics, or somatic experience practitioners, basically, what was happening for me at the time was, I was carrying so much stress, I thought that I was doing fine, but apparently, my body told me that I wasn’t because I was having consistent migraines, and my neck, my head, and shoulders would lock. I couldn’t turn my head left or right, I had to turn my entire torso, you know, shoulders and everything left and right. And so my instructor for the trauma-informed training class told me she suggested a somatic experienced practitioner. And so when I started seeing her, she helped me to identify where the pain was in my body and identify when it was coming up and things like that. But when you get so used to existing in a form of pain, you know, with pain, what we call in Black world “issues”, when you know, it’s just another issue. I just, I just have issues… The word trauma didn’t even apply to Black people to me. I’ve always heard White people talk about trauma, but not ever heard anywhere in Black world where we talked about Black people having trauma.

Joy:
Yeah, same with Asians!

Anita:
It’s always issues, issues, issues. So yes, I identified that then that took a minute for me to internalize and really recognize that within myself. So I’ve been growing, learning more and more about trauma, which is why I find myself doing the very thing I said I didn’t want to do 20 years ago which was trauma work, right? Oh my gosh. You know, it’s like 20 years to get here. But I guess being you know, the Ph.D. student of life, I had to go through 20 years worth of experience so that I can speak from experience because that’s what I said I had to do. I now know, thanks, Doctor TT, that you don’t have to have that. But that’s what I felt I needed so that’s why it happened that way. So okay, Joy. So you shared with our listeners, your specialty, how you work with your clients. Where can they find you? How can they get in touch with you?

Joy:
Absolutely. I’m on Instagram. @JoyAcaso is my handle and also on Tik Tok. You’ll find me there. I talk a lot about brain health and neuroscience and the nervous system if that is something that you’re interested in. Definitely would love for you to follow me, and my website is JoyAcaso.com.

Anita:
Okay, I promise I’m not gonna keep you on too much longer. You just reminded me, we haven’t talked about the brain and neuroscience.

Joy:
Oh, yes.

Anita:
We haven’t talked about that. So when I think of the brain, I think of this big squiggly, squishy sponge which has all of these neuro-nets and all these highways and byways, and it lights up all these different lights and different colors and different areas. You know? This may not have anything to do with it, but this is something that I’ve been trying to tell my mom, do you know if there is a correlation between dehydration and Alzheimer’s or dehydration and migraines? Why is it so important for people to stay hydrated, and does the brain need water?

Joy:
Yes! We need water for the brain, but also it’s like a cleansing, right? You know, when we hydrate, it’s a neutral thing that we cleanse at the cellular level, and we are made up of 75 to 80% water. And so it definitely there is, like, there are properties in the water itself that brings healing into the brain and aids or facilitates biochemical reactions that happened in in our entire body for sure.

Anita:
Yeah. And just so we’re not going to get into Alzheimer’s, I promise. When we talk about the brain and the hippocampus and pineal gland and all that good stuff, like when you were learning about neuroscience and the brain at the HeartMath Institute, what did you really focus on there? Like, what did they teach you about neuroscience and the brain at the HeartMath Institute?

Joy:
Absolutely. It’s about harnessing the emotional brain, the primitive brain, where the hippocampus and the amygdala, they’re all in that space in the back of the brain. Right? So that is the primitive part of the brain, and when that… And trauma! Trauma affects that part of the brain. And so, you know, we want to be able to work in that space because trauma responses are energy efficient. That is why it’s like, automatic, right? It doesn’t take much to be in a trauma response versus let me pause and reflect and think about what I’m gonna… That’s a lot of energy, right, to be in the conscious state of our being. So the emotional brain will just kick in and override the entire system not healing our trauma. That, again, I did not learn that in school.

Anita:
Wow. You know, during the trauma-informed yoga training I took, we spent, like, the first three weeks learning about where like… the first seven weeks, were all about the scientific portion of trauma. I got so far into it, I had this huge chart on my wall with the sympathetic and the parasympathetic nervous system, and, you know, the triggers and all those things, and it was so fascinating. I was like, Oh, my goodness, look at this. And I recognize, you know, working with her, and also the somatic, the SEP, the somatic experienced practitioner helped me to recognize, like when I was about to shut down, or, you know, when I was ready to go because there’s a, I recognize it now, and instead of beating myself up for it, it’s like, okay, I know, I’ve reached my limit, it’s time for me to go when I get somewhere and, and like I’ve had enough. I just can’t take any more. It’s like, my brain goes into flight, not even fight, I don’t want to fight unless you try to make me stay there. When I say I’m ready to go, I’m ready to go. That’s my flight because I can feel myself getting there. And then if you keep trying to keep me there, you don’t want me to leave, you try to make more excuses for me to stay, then I get agitated. And then it’s about to be an argument or whatever. So I recognize that now where I never took the time to stop and be able to recognize, oh, okay, I’m getting there. It’s time for me to leave. I would see it after the fact, after I had already reacted versus before reacted. So just learning about that and the chemical components of the brain, and the fact that every emotion has a chemical. It’s like, Oh, my goodness. So you know where I learned about that… What is her name? Her name is Candace. First name is Candace, but I saw in the movie, What the Bleep Do We Know? It was years ago, and she talked about the chemistry of emotions, and it was really cool because what they did in this movie is that they use like little cartoon characters to show you like if you were angry, they had these little red cartoon characters running around. You can see them being released from the brain, then if you were happy, you know, and had a certain color. If you are, you know, sad, it had another color. And it’s almost like, you know when you’re stuck in a certain mindset, it’s almost like you’re addicted to that chemical that’s associated with that emotion.

Joy:
Yep, that’s correct.

Anita:
And I was like, oh my god, this is amazing. So that’s why when you told me about the HeartMath Institute and what you studied, I was like, Ah, I’m gonna go take that class. I was like, no, no, no, don’t do it. Candice Pert, I think is her name. Let me look her up. Candice Pert, but she’s no longer with us. Right. But her book…Before we post this, I will find the name. I will have Meghan put the link to the movie. What the Bleep Do We Know? because that’s where I learned about it. And put the name. I know, I know it, I can see it. I can see her face. But I’ll definitely let you know about it, but it was in this movie. They just made it so clear using cartoon characters and different colors. And that’s what really made me aware of the fact that, you know, sometimes people who are always angry, like, even if nothing’s wrong, they’ll find something to get mad about. They want that read that chemical release, they need that release. And it’s like, wow, when you learn this stuff, right? And then you’re around people and you see it in action, it’s like, wow. But it’s not for you to go say, Hey, you just released the main chemical. You’re addicted to your chemicals, you’re addicted to your emotions. It’s not for you to say that. You know, it’s like the born again out… I may always say this, and I don’t mean to offend anybody. But this happened in my world, so it’s my experience. Like when we were going to church, and we would call somebody’s house and they would answer the phone. It’s like, Oh, praise the Lord, Glory hallelujah today. And it’s like, what? Hello? So instead of like, Oh, I see, you know, maybe today’s not a good day for you, or maybe you’re not in a good space. I’ll come back later. Yeah, you know, versus saying, You’re addicted to your emotions or releasing the chemical of such and such right now.

Joy:
That’s right.

Anita:
You know, we don’t want to do that. Unless it’s the oxytocin chemical, then we love that one. Because that’s the feel-good.

Joy:
Absolutely. Absolutely. I love what you said. You said “instead of beating myself up” because I think that’s so, so, so important. And, you know, that’s also my hope for my clients, and, you know, people who follow me or like, you know, see the work that I do, or maybe even listen to this episode that, yeah, there is an explanation, you know, for why you feel this way, or why you’re thinking this way, and it’s not your fault. And there’s nothing wrong with you. There are just things that we need to look at and explore. But that doesn’t mean that you are defective, right? Like that your emotions define you or your trauma, you know, defines you. But it’s true. A lot of us like really do beat ourselves up for our experiences.

Anita:
Yeah, that took some work, though, right? Because when you grew up under the microscope, right, yes? Women of Color, and you’re around, you know, other women, White women, and you’re constantly comparing yourself. You’re constantly thinking, Did I say something wrong? Did I do something wrong? When half the time it wasn’t you? You know, it was them. So stepping back and learning how to acknowledge that without being angry about it, and just seeing it for what it is, that took some growth. So that’s why I was like, God, are you sure? Are you sure I’m the person you want to do this work? You can pick somebody else, alright? He’s like, No, I want you. I’m like, but I got a smart mouth. He was like, exactly. I tell it like it is. He was like, exactly. That’s exactly why I want you, but I also know that because I’ve gone through this, I’ve taken my time, and it’s so important to me, for me to continue to grow so that I am there, and I’m able to be present with my clients. It’s so important that I’m just gonna I’m always gonna have a coach or two or three.

Joy:
I definitely agree. Yes, yes, I am I to believe that I need to keep learning and growing. Absolutely.

Anita:
Yeah. Yeah. I have so enjoyed this podcast, I don’t want to let you go because I can talk about all this stuff all the time, it just makes me so excited and so happy. But what it does let me know is that I believe since the beginning of my podcast, I met, I don’t know, 56 episodes now, which is surprising to me. Thank you. The quality of the conversations, the direction that it’s going, every woman that I’ve had on my podcast has been phenomenal, and you know, an expert in what they do, and killing it in their zone of genius. But I think as I mature more, and I step into my true calling, so women that I am attracting are right there. It’s like, Man, like, these are conversations that I’m having for the benefit of the listeners. But girl, I get so much from these things myself.

Joy:
Wow. Yeah, me too.

Anita:
So amazing. I love it. So I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being my guest this week.

Joy:
Thank you so much for having me.

Anita:
You are welcome. For everyone that’s listening, don’t forget to head on over to the show notes where you can download the transcript and highlight your favorite parts. And you’re going to have all the links that you need to connect with Dr. Acaso. I keep calling her Joy, I should be respectful. And if you guys want, I plan to have Dr. Acaso back in the fourth quarter, we have some things that we’ve been talking about collaborating on, but if you have any questions for her and for whatever reason, you don’t want to reach out to her directly, just shoot them to me – you know how to reach me – and I will reach out to her, and maybe, you know, if I need to, I’ll do a follow-up in an email, or you may be a post where I tag Dr. Acaso so she can see the question as well. But anyway, I’m gonna stop stalling, and I’m gonna let you guys go. Thank you. Once again, thank you, listeners. I really appreciate you sticking around, and in case you have only been listening and you did not realize that because of you this podcast is in the top 10% of almost 3 million podcasts globally. So that’s worldwide! Thank you. Thank you, and thank you to my loyal listeners. I really do love and appreciate you, and I will catch you on the next episode.