PODCAST EPISODE № 13

Candid Conversations with Phenomenal Executive Women: Dr. Amy Heger

by Anita Charlot

Listen to Candid Conversations with Phenomenal Executive Women: Dr. Amy Heger:

Hello beautiful listeners. This is Coach Anita Charlot here, and you are listening to another episode that I call a special episode. And the reason why I call it a special episode is because I am sharing with you from my own personal circle of amazing, phenomenal executive women that I think you need to hear from. So this is less formal than my usual podcast where it’s just me talking, and so you’re going to hear a lot of laughter, you may hear a lot of stumbling, bloopers, whatever, this is the conversation.

Dr. Amy and I met in a platform class in 2018. If you listen to the first special episode number 11, with Dr. Tracy Timberlake, then you know what program I’m referring to. While it was what we’d like to lovingly call a Ph. D. Online Business Development Program, it was also where we connected and we made some wonderful friendships and sisterhoods. Dr. Amy is one of my sister girls, my sisters from another mother, so I want to introduce you to her and I want to bring her on and just let you listen in on our conversation.

What You Learn:

Dr. Amy’s journey as a duel-preneur and creating her own business
Why trusting the process, having faith, then going above and beyond will help your business flourish
How Dr. Amy got real with herself and found her perfectly imperfect partner
Dr. Amy’s advice for finding your happy!

Featured on the Show:

Sign up for Dr. Amy Heger’s newest course, Suite Builder Academy!
Check out Dr. Amy’s new book, You Can Do It All: Mastering Your Gifts
Listen to Dr. Amy’s Podcast, The Unwritten Rules of Business
Follow Dr. Amy on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn
Visit Dr. Amy’s Website to learn more about her and her business
Learn more about how you can work directly with Anita
Love the show? Leave a review of the show in Apple Podcasts (click the link to find out how).
Follow me on Instagram!
Find me on Facebook!

Episode Transcript

Coach Anita Charlot:
All right, everyone. Welcome. Hello beautiful listeners. This is Coach Anita Charlot here, and you are listening to another episode that I call a special episode, and the reason why I call it a special episode is because I am sharing… I am opening up my Rolodex… Okay. Yes, I did just date myself, but I’m opening up my Rolodex, and I’m sharing with you from my own personal circle of amazing, phenomenal executive women that I think you need to hear from. So this is less formal than my usual podcast where it’s just me talking. And so you’re going to hear a lot of laughter, you may hear a lot of stumbling, bloopers, whatever, this is a conversation. So Dr. Amy and I actually met in a platform class in 2018. If you listen to the first special episode number 11, with Dr. Tracy Timberlake, then you know what program I’m referring to. But it was while it was what we’d like to lovingly call a Ph. D. Online Business Development Program, it was also where we connected and we made, you know, some wonderful friendships and sisterhoods. And Dr. Amy is one of my sister girls, my sisters from another mother. So I want to introduce you to her, and I want to bring her on and just let you listen in on our conversation.
Welcome, Dr. Amy. I’m so happy to have you here, girl, like, you know, as we talked about in our previous conversation prior to recording, this is just, you know, just be yourself! You don’t have to worry about being formal, just consider us sitting across the couch, at the resort where we were in Miami.

Dr. Amy Heger: 
I like it.

Coach Anita Charlot: 
So that’s where we are. So I’d like to share the purpose of the podcast, I’m sure you already know this, but just in case this is someone’s first time listening: the purpose of the podcast is to share stories and tips, and advice on how to help executive women navigate their home and work lives with confidence and calm, all while being in command of their emotions. And so as an executive dating… whoa, yeah, dating too! …Executive relationship coach, which covers dating, relationships, marriage, divorce, situation-ships, you know, all of those things. I’ve worked with people on those, it’s important for you to understand the challenges that executive women go through as it relates to finding their happy. This is the Happy Executive Woman Podcast and also finding or attracting, I like to think of it more as attracting the spirit of the man that is perfectly imperfect for them. So tonight, Dr. Amy and I are going to get all up in her business, and we’re going to share with you her journey from as a duel-preneur, initially on to her modern-day work. And she actually just released the book on Amazon. Was it this week?

Dr. Amy Heger: 
It was this week. Yes.

Coach Anita Charlot: 
So today, this episode is being recorded on 8/26. So by the time you hear this, you should definitely be able to head on over to Amazon and pick up Dr. Amy’s book, and I’m gonna let her share that with you a little later on in the podcast. And, as always, go over to the show notes so that you can get not only the transcript but all of the resources and the links that we discuss during today’s call. So it’s a very, very long introduction, Dr. Amy, but I’d like for you to share with us. I remember when we were in PLATFORM, you were still working your full-time job. So if you can kind of walk us through where you were in PLATFORM, what made you decide to join PLATFORM and then what aha moments and actions you took after PLATFORM. I think that would be a great starting point for our listeners.

Dr. Amy Heger: 
So it was kind of like the perfect storm of things because I didn’t see that everything was going to be related. I was a school teacher, and for the last couple of years that I was there, I was miserable. Did not realize that God was pushing me out, it was a job that I love. I pride myself in it. And God pretty much had to check me that like that job is not your everything, you do not get all your validations being a teacher, you were mine, and that should just be sufficient. And I didn’t listen. And so the last couple of years, just okeydoke things happen in at work that I really didn’t understand why they were happening. But now I realized that they, you know, I was just supposed to get out. So that’s where my overnight childcare center kind of came to be, that I was gonna just do that, that was going to be my exit strategy. Daycare, you know, it’s a million-dollar business. You know, we always need daycare. So I knew it was gonna be a no-brainer thing to get out of there. But I also was finishing my doctorate. And I was kind of feeling some kind of way because I was finishing my third education degree as I’m walking out the door. And then Tracy, Dr. Tracy… Dr. Tracy, and I went to high school together for I think, ninth and 10th grade, maybe 11th. And so her and I had been friends on Facebook since Facebook was a thing, you know. And I had watched her go from being a, you know, a beauty blogger, you know, her little YouTube channel. And then I saw that she had this big, you know, company, and she had this course, and I think I might have been in her first – we were like our second class, right? Yeah, her program was still fairly new, but I saw the transformation. And because I knew her, I knew one person, she was a real person. And I was, I knew that, okay, she could do it, I could do it. And her whole thing is, you know, getting a doctorate, even a master’s degree, don’t bother doing it. Can’t make money doing it. And so I thought, well, if I can’t, if I’m not going to be an educator anymore. What am I going to do as Dr. Heger? So I just spent all this money on a degree. So I entered her program, and you know, I mean, you know how she does, she teaches you how to brand yourself and find those little gems of gifts that you have, and that people will pay for any kind of gift that you have. There’s always a service, there’s always something out there you can do, and teaching us how to take our gifts and put them into various containers. And then as I was in my childcare, job, or you know, in my company, probably in the last year, I realized this is not I love working with the moms, but I have had opportunities to do more things out in the community. I recently was able to join up with our local chapter of the NAACP to work with the local school district. One of the people that goes in if they ever need a represent representative, so I was really excited about that. Various committees in our area, I’ve been able to link up that through being a small business owner. And so I want to focus more on you know, community change, that sort of thing in regards to my local community, which I can’t do that when I’m staying up all night at my overnight center. 
So that’s kind of where, of course, you know, people pick your brain as you open a business. So that’s kind of where the business coaching came from. I’m like, Okay, well, enough of the free conversations, let’s see, let’s get some structured containers in place. Because I can only do so much over coffee, I can only do so much. When people are messaging me on Facebook, like, let’s get some things together so I can really help these people other than just giving, you know, advice here and there. So that’s where we, that’s where we are today.

Coach Anita Charlot: 
That’s amazing. And I always like hearing, you know, all of the stories. And we’ve kept in touch with a lot of our PLATFORM sisters, and so just knowing and seeing the transformation for others has been amazing. You know, my whole thing is about being a door opener, and what that means and what that looks like and how to navigate that space. But it’s always a pleasure to see someone go from being a door opener, finding their niche or niche depending on how you want to pronounce that, and then, you know, making a living from that. So, Dr. Hager, Dr. Amy, you mentioned something you said structure containers. So for the listeners who are not as well versed in that term, will you explain what a structured container is, and why it was important for you to create it.

Dr. Amy Heger: 
So you know, we’re a service but you know, service-based industry. So these will kind of be my product, so to speak. So I have you know, my little free call where people can schedule about a half-hour. You know, it’s something that… it’s very clear that boundary of that we’re not just at some point you’re going to be added to my email list. You know, to me, it sets a tone with who I know my personal life of you sure we can absolutely have a conversation, let’s book a call and sometimes they move forward and sometimes they are uncomfortable with that and I’m okay with that because they may be comfortable with it or they might go to somebody else and get help, but I’m totally okay with that. Then I have another container for people who are just kind of starting out, a little nervous about spending money on a coach you as my business bundle where you just it’s month to month, you get me via WhatsApp, you get a strategy call. So I have a structured container for that. And then I have my larger coaching program, the Suite Builder Academy that starts at the end of September, on people who are looking for like a little longer term. So I’d have these structured containers of just pretty much kind of where you’re at, just kind of differentiate my products needs, so to speak. So that different people have, you know, when they come to me, they have different areas that they can go. But again, it’s not just this, of casual picking my brain so to speak.

Coach Anita Charlot:
Right, right. Oh, I’m very familiar with picking your brain. Oh, you know, can I just talk to you about a little bit? I just have a question. And then a question leads to another question leads to another question. And it’s like after you had, and you’ve answered so many of those questions. It’s like, okay, when you present them with the offers, like, Oh, you know, no, you know, you’ve given me enough to think about and I was like, Okay, now I’m not doing too many more of those. And so that’s, you know, one of the reasons why I decided to do the podcast was to provide, you know, as much information that I could to reach as many people as possible, and they could, you know, they could binge on every episode if they needed to. And by the time they finished bingeing on the episode, then they would know, for certain, you know, if I was a person that they would want to work with because I’m not for everybody, you know? Every coach is not for everybody. I wanted to talk to you a bit about your Nightwatch childcare center. So tell us I know, I know the story behind it, and I know what position you’ve been in, in terms of, you know, the only one of your kind. And I do believe I’ve just read recently that there they are opening up another childcare center directly across the street, tell us a little bit about your business, what service you provide, and how you managed to build your business by understanding your client base, and I do remember doing a challenge with you and receiving a workbook. So please let our listeners know all about that, too.

Dr. Amy Heger: 
Yes. So with the Nightwatch, childcare I’m so we’re open seven days a week, we open at 2:30 pm. We close at 8:30 in the morning, and it’s very different from a daytime center. A lot of daytime centers run more on a school schedule, where they are off on certain holidays, they close when it’s snowing, and they have a routine circle time, you know, you have to get picked up at 5:30. Like they have set hours in Facebook groups I’m in with childcare, they get very, they go in there, they bash parents for showing up late dropping off early things like that. And the reality of it is overnight care is based on the jobs that my moms have. They’re going to get off at different times for those who work in the restaurant. If they’re a waitress, they might wake up an hour early, you know, if they get cut, they’re coming to pick their kids up. They could leave them there. If they paid, I don’t care. But you know, they’re going to pick kids up early. If I’ve got people who work at group homes and the coverage doesn’t show up, they can’t leave. They can’t just leave their clients in the house by themselves. The hospital’s not closing when it’s snowing, you know, so there’s a lot of factors in place that we have to be very unique, and very understanding, and extremely flexible. Sometimes parents get called in last minute, sometimes they get called off so they don’t have to go in last minute, you know, so having the flexibility and just, you know, even our routine, you know, we can’t keep a rigid schedule. We just can’t, it would frustrate us. So, so yeah. So that was a big thing is making sure I understand my mom’s and finding out what they actually need initially, you know, wanting to do things at the community in regards to, you know, childcare, whether it’s like events at the park or the zoo, or whatever. And we’re realizing that my parents were sleeping during the day, and that’s not what they need. They need online tours, so they don’t have to come in. They need online paperwork, so they don’t have to come in. They need us to fax things to the pediatrician because they’re sleeping during the day and can’t go to the pediatrician during the day. So really just niching my audience, and that’s one of the workbooks that I do have is the audience profiler. It’s completely free on my website at Dr. Amy Hager.com, and it’s a workbook I created, and really it gets you to hone in on the individual client. Because even if your business interacts with like a business and you have business contracts, there’s still one person that makes that decision. So to understand that one a person in the office that’s going to sign the contract, understanding what makes her life stressful, how can you make the whole thing easier that’s gonna help you get the deal if you know that she has a million other things going on making that process super seamless that she doesn’t have to contact you anymore. Everything’s very clear. So just honing down to that one person and really understanding what’s making them tick. That’s definitely going to help help you create those… your different products in your product suite, even at the childcare level, is the only product that offers not just childcare. I help them get their financial aid paperwork together, I help with job placement, sometimes parents lose their jobs. So I’m trying to find other things. Sometimes you have parents that lose their houses, sometimes they have car trouble and can’t afford to pay, you know, and we’re able to kind of assist and network out in the community and get people to help. So understanding that it’s not maybe just about your main product, but all these other services that you can provide, like how you do with your podcast, that’s a free service you’re offering in your product suite. Right? Well, um, yeah, so that’s how we’ve been able to be successful with the childcare is niching, our audience, really understanding those pain points, and really trying to, you know, accommodate for them.

Coach Anita Charlot: 
That’s, that’s amazing. You know, I was thinking about, as you were explaining, explaining the profiler a little bit more, you know, this isn’t just for individuals with service-based businesses, right. This could even be for salespeople in like a corporate office. Because even as a salesperson, you need to know your ideal client, you need to have figured out exactly what your client needs, and what you can walk in there with a presentation and your clients, like, Oh, my God, this is exactly what I have been looking for. So this profiler can help as well. And even though, you know, we live on our cell phones these days, so there was a, an… I was gonna say, an episode. That was an exercise in there where I think it was like, who is the top one or two, top five people in your clients? Yeah, top five people in your client’s phonebook, right? Or in their cell phone. And when you think about this profiler, as it relates to, you know, the target market that you’re targeting, this profiler can work for any market whatsoever. Because even as a client, you know, you still need to know if that person is or is not the decision-maker. If they’re not the decision-maker, then who is the decision-maker, right. So you still need to know the level of, you know, involvement that each individual person is going to have how many people are going to be involved in this decision? You know, what are these people like? What are these people looking for what’s important to this person may not be what’s important to one, if it’s only one person that has a decision-making capability, does he have to talk to two or three other people before he can make his decision, right? So there’s so many different things to keep in mind. And regardless to what industry you’re in, if you are working with individuals, and you need to, I’m all about building relationships. So I see this profiler as something that can help others build relationships with the people that they interact with the people that are most going to be most impactful to their business or to their lives.

Dr. Amy Heger: 
So I was sharing it with one of my clients, she has like a sweets and treats company. And she’s looking into getting to the schools and making it be a fundraiser. And, you know, she’s trying to go through like the central office end, and I’m like, Well, is that who’s making the decisions? So after our conversation and looking at the profiler, it really is the coaches, or the main leader, you know, who’s doing the fundraising, I told her to go after the SGA sponsor on this senior class sponsor, because she has to get all that money ready for prom and graduation. And, you know, stuff in the spring. So they’re always looking. So when you profile, that teacher is already probably teaching a full load, she probably has a whole family. She’s probably like the school Mom, you know, why don’t you make it easy on her. And then as you talk to her, she may have to run it by the board. So how can she present her information to that teacher? All she has to do is take it, walk it down to the principal, here’s what the budget looks like, this is the format it needs to look like. And you find that out by honing on that in that one individual, if it’s the coach, is he a guy that you know, at three o’clock, I don’t want me to generalize that all coaches are men, but it’s three o’clock if the football coach is going out to the field, he doesn’t have time to check emails, he’s not going through all the countless junk mail with all the other fundraisers that come through. So how can you make yourself stand out? How can you make it effortless, because he does not want to fool with the paperwork? He wants to go out here with these boys and do football?

Coach Anita Charlot: 
Right, right.

Dr. Amy Heger: 
So how you know, so it always is gonna come down to one person, I don’t care how big the company is, or how big the contract is. Do all the stuff you got to do to get on your federal or state or your local, you know, contract list for you know, government agencies or whatever. But at the end of the day, it’s gonna be that one person. So how can you make that person’s life easier by profiling them? So it’s a no-brainer, of course, they’re gonna come to you and they’re gonna keep coming to you because you made it so easy.

Coach Anita Charlot:
Yeah, makes total sense. So just remember everyone, you will be able to access the link to this amazing profiler in the show notes. So after you’re done listening to the episode, head on over to the show notes. So we’re going to take a moment and we’re going to switch gears here. We are going to now I’d like to talk about the Relationship life, have a dual partner or have a woman executive a woman that is on a mission, a woman that has a vision has goals. Tell us a little bit about what your journey has been since you decided to you know, step into the space of being a business owner. What is your dating and relationship life been like?

Dr. Amy Heger: 
Um, well, initially it was not existent in regards to dating. There was, I don’t know what I would call it, sampling. I was working. I was working nights, sleeping during the day, my days off. This is my first left my teaching job. My days off, I was Lyft driving to pay, you know, I mean, I wasn’t getting my salary anymore. We weren’t necessarily pulling it enough where I could take a pay cut. And I just felt safer just to just go Lyft drive and just get a couple $100 a week and then I’d work my shifts. So late at night, I’m, you know, I’m on Tinder. I’m on Plenty of Fish. I’m just meeting random people and just texting them throughout the night just to occupy my time. Right? Nothing, nothing stuck, because I wasn’t really looking for anything to be stuck. And then I met one and he really, he really got into me about you know, well, why do you so casual about it? Like, what are you scared of what? and asked me a lot of questions. But he was crazy. And I don’t talk… You know, it didn’t work out with him. But yeah. I mean, he really asked me a lot of questions that got me thinking and I started thinking about relationships with my parents and how that impacted how I act now towards other people. And what, what am I really afraid of? And why don’t I, you know, why did I think I wasn’t worthy of a relationship? I kept making excuses. I’m just busy, but deep down, it was the little 12 year old who thought she needed to lose 50 pounds for somebody to really think she was pretty. Like that’s where some of it came from. Some of it came from, you know, my dad, God rest his soul. And we had a much better relationship as an adult. But as a child, if I didn’t call him by 7:30 on Thursdays, he wouldn’t pick me up on Fridays, even though it was court-ordered for me to go there every other weekend. Like it was just a lot of those things that as kids we just think are normal. And then when we grow up, and then finally it’s like, hold on, like, what? It’s not normal. Right? Right. And I don’t have to continue to carry that on. And I’m telling you, it was months of clearing out the junk all those numbers to I mean, it could have been a romantic comedy just going have a nice patch just going through just guys that maybe I just saved their number just texted them. There were numbers that I didn’t save but had old text messages from and it was just going through and erasing all of that but just kind of going through the memories. It was kind of fun combing through, you know, 15 years of Facebook and saying, Okay, I need to get rid of some of these people because I really want to move forward. If I’m ready to have a husband, then I need to act like a wife. And I needed to clear all that stuff out. And I’m telling you within six months, Harry calm to come then. And you know, it was love at first sight and I but I did the work and I tell him all the time, like a year ago, I was not ready for you. Like I’m just so thankful. I’m so thankful that I came in contact with some random Tinder guy that asked me a couple of questions that got my brain thinking and yeah, helped me realize that the reason why I was attracting guys that, you know, it didn’t work out is that I was vibrating at that level. Like I was, I was not a nice person either. I was dating for sport, overtly, I didn’t even realize that I didn’t realize it. Anyway, coming through all of that, but I definitely had to do work. And I feel that if I didn’t, then I would not be the woman that Ben deserves, because he’s just absolutely amazing. And I’m so happy and blessed. But definitely had to put in that work in regards to what type of relationships I need to have. And as I did that work about like relationships with my parents when I was younger, I saw how it reflected even in relationships in my, in my career, where, you know, my father, white male, and I had projected that pretty much on every white male of authority in my teaching career. Like, if you were a white male principal, I wanted nothing to do with you. If you were a white male administrator, don’t talk to me. You’re stupid. Like I don’t need you. I don’t want your feedback. Like, I didn’t realize that I had rippled it out. Yeah, into my career. And to reflect on that after I left teaching, I thought that I really need to be that mean? Like, did I really have to put off this air of I don’t need you, I don’t need you to give me feedback. Like, don’t talk to me. Like, I probably would have had a much happier teaching career if I had just been nicer.

Coach Anita Charlot:
Well, I think you know, everything happens for a reason. Like I remember in the beginning, where we would have, you know, just like casual conversation about things and you would ask me questions and, you know, provides you with a little feedback. I do have your testimonial up on my LinkedIn page, my Facebook page, my Instagram page, you name whatever page I have out there. I have your test. money out there is I think it’s important, you know, for people to know, one that it’s an oId, for women to know that it’s important to really understand who you are, where you’re looking at your life, look at your experiences and see, really see and acknowledge the role that you played in it. Right? Absolutely. And then figure out how, how you can get from, like you said, dating for sport to, you know, changing your mindset getting in the mindset of Okay, well, this is not what I want. So what is it that I need to do in order to prepare myself, my energy, my vibration to attract the right guy?

Dr. Amy Heger: 
Yeah. And I will loop around, because something you really helped me do was even when I was kind of like, sampling around, just, you know, just when I say sampling, I mean as like just reaching out to people on apps and just texting them not really meeting anybody. But I did give myself the opportunity to match up with people I typically wouldn’t have matched up with, I gave myself permission to, you know, what, let me talk to this person, if it, let’s say, might not be somebody I would have typically dated before, or even really, given the time of day. And I definitely got that from you. Because I remember hearing you speak, I probably was at platform and you were talking about how you gave yourself opportunities to venture out and just see what you like. And so yeah, I thank you for that. Because sometimes I think we, we get stuck in a certain, you know, this is what I like. But you know, you don’t know you don’t want you don’t know if you like until you try it.

Coach Anita Charlot:
Exactly, exactly. You know, and so for those that just happened to be, let’s say if you are bingeing on the podcast episodes, and you didn’t have an opportunity to look at the graphic for this episode, I’m going to be going to point out some things to you. Amy had mentioned that she had a problem, you know, with, with white administrators or with you know, getting feedback from white males. Amy, would you like to share with our audience, your current relationship status.

Dr. Amy Heger: 
I’m engaged. And I don’t know when this episode is gonna be airing, but I might be married by the time you push it out. We’re looking to get married October, November. We’re actually going to go look at a place this weekend. So I’m just, it’s just gonna be real small, you know, but um, I had mentioned something to him about because we weren’t going to do a ceremony. And then I mentioned that I would just Google searching wedding dresses, and he teared up and was like, Oh my gosh, I get to get to see you in a dress. I wasn’t gonna get a dress, but I have to get a dress now. Like I’m so sweet.

Coach Anita Charlot: 
He’s so sweet, I have not met him. I just, you know, just listeners I have not met him. But he I’ve been watching their progress. You know, I’ve been watching the pictures on Facebook, the trips that they’ve been taking the fun that they’ve been having. And I’m just so excited to see two people that just genuinely seem to have a great time with each other.

Dr. Amy Heger: 
Oh my gosh. And I tell you like… me and him talked about at some point, we may even write a book just because it was instant. And the third day we saw each other we just… he asked me to be his girlfriend on the third date. This was COVID so nothing was even open. Yeah, we’re just down at the beach sitting in one of our cars. And he was like, Oh, is it too soon? Is it too soon? Now full backstory, I did not know him, but I’m good friends with his sister. And I’m like, why didn’t you bring him to me sooner? Like I’ve been friends with his sister for like five years. So there was a little you know, not like I’m a complete stranger, but long story short him and I just made that decision that every day we were just going to head in that direction. We didn’t tell anybody that we were you know, boyfriend girlfriend, we didn’t weren’t engaged or whatever, man, you know, me and him pretty much like that night we promised ourselves to each other under this, you know, under the stars. And every day, we just kept moving forward. Like this is the direction like you still want to do it> Yeah. So and we would do, like, every two weeks, we’d renew.

Coach Anita Charlot: 
See, that’s what I’m talking about!

Dr. Amy Heger: 
I’m like, what did he do to get it another two weeks? But, but just that communication of like, okay, is this what you want to do? Like, I don’t want to be alone anymore. And I really have the time with you and to be able to marry your best friend… I would hear that. And I have a lot of friends who have really great husbands like they’re not best friends like they’re on girls trips and stuff. I don’t think I’ll ever go on a girls trip. And you know me, I used to hop on a plane and go to Florida. All the time. I hate it when I’m away from him. I’m like, he started a new job this week. And he’s gone all day. And I’m like, Where’s my best friend? Come home. Oh, I was gonna get him fired from his job. So he has to come home. I’m just gonna call up there and make random comments. Just kidding! I don’t want to do that. But yeah, I love him to pieces and we have such a good time we play together and laugh together and I’ve never had anything like it.

Coach Anita Charlot: 
So I’m so excited for you, I’m so happy to have been there before. And to just watch, you know, like I’m over here smiling so big, I could barely talk. But I am just so excited. It just warms my heart because you were serious about, you know, the questions that you were asking were deep questions, right? You were not looking for superficial answers. You were like, Look, I’m tired of this. Why is this? What do I need to do? How can I do this, you wanted to know you were willing to do… and ready, let’s put that in there. You were willing and ready to do the work. And sometimes that’s all it takes, right is the willingness to, to listen, to do something different to try something different. And to allow yourself to step away from what people want for you or think that you need. You know, there are a lot of women who are in business we can women in business, whether they’re entrepreneurs, or they’re working in corporate. A lot of women think that they have to have a man who matches their resume, right. And that is not the case, you need to be on the lookout or you need to be, you need to understand clearly the energy of the person that you want to have in your space, you need to know the quality of life and love that you want. Need to get clear on what that looks like, what it sounds like, what he feels like energetically what he feels like physically, just you need to know what you want in your mind. And when you know that, you know, when you’re clear, super clear, then you can identify and it doesn’t take, you know, forever, it does not take forever. Once you are clear and you are in that space, but you got to be willing to open up yourself and to take, you know, at times it takes someone else looking in or someone else that’s objective to point out something or ask you a question that’s going to make you really think like, Wow, I didn’t think about that.

Dr. Amy Heger: 
Yeah, exactly. And when I would go to some of these women in business conferences, I would see these, you know, multimillionaire women speaking. And I’d see their husbands in the back, you know, at the table, or behind the scenes, we working on the computer or whatever. And I would kind of raise an eyebrow, I’m like, okay, that’s cute. He helps her business, right? I have somebody like that. Like, she can only do that, because of what he’s doing. Like, when I had to do it. In February, and it was snowing. I couldn’t go to Florida. But so I was doing I was a speaker at an event. And he was the one that said the computer. I’m gonna try. I was trying to get ready for the event. And you know, he’s in the other room moving furniture around in the hotel room to get the perfect lighting. Like knickknacks and things to prop my tablet up so I can see my notes. And then I have my computer over and he’s got the microphone all hooked up. I mean, this is it like, and if that ends up being and he sends me a little TikToks every now and then it’ll say something like, you know, are you okay with your wife making 50,000? You know, $50,000 or $500,000 a year or a million dollars a year? Like, would you stay home and clean? And you see him just like pushing the broom, like smiling? Absolutely. Yeah. I will do all the laundry with a smile. And you know, we joke about that. Because while we’re not there yet, you know, it’s definitely you know, we’re comfortable having that conversation of like, Are you okay, being the person that stays home? If we have kids? Or are you okay being the person that stays home and carries the lights and the camera and the suitcases only events and he is all for it. And I love him for and I need him like he brought he calms me down when I’m getting nervous, or I’m getting overwhelmed or stressed out before an event. He’s definitely my piece. So going to those events, seeing those couples, because now I view them differently because he’s not helping. He is part of it. He’s not just doing the computer stuff, he’s taking things off my plate so I can do more. Because if I had to fuss with that stuff, too, that’s gonna pull me away from my gift. My gift is not that stuff, you know, so in to watch him learn. Like he edits my podcasts and like, to watch him, you know, look up YouTube videos and Google things to learn how to do it better. Yes, to do a better for me, like that’s just one. I mean, I mean, I could just kiss pieces, like he’s just the sweetest.

Coach Anita Charlot: 
Oh my god, this is so adorable. 
Dr. Amy Heger: 
Just to really have a partner, you know, because it’s one thing I mean, you can have and I think that’s the benefit of not looking for somebody that matches your resume. Because you’re especially in the entrepreneur space because as an entrepreneur… with me anyway, my resume is constantly evolving. And my job descriptions constantly changing, changing. So I’m somebody that’s willing to grow with you and help you and, you know, he doesn’t realize his value and I tell him all the time, I’m like, I wouldn’t be able to do half of this without you like I would be so stressed out. Yeah, I’m winning midnight. And he helps me be able to execute my ideas a lot faster because now I got somebody to help me.

Coach Anita Charlot:
Right. That is amazing. That is absolutely awesome. And I’m so excited that you found the person, you know, you found your piece. I always tell people, you know, Charles and I were on a, on a radio show I Heart Radio show a couple of weeks ago. And we were talking about how we met and our, our creation story, so to speak. But I recognized and to him immediately his ability to defuse a situation, and then his ability to calm me down. So that is really important, especially for us. And I’m going to call this you can correct me if I’m wrong, but as type A women where everything has to be right, we have to figure out that we have to do 12 things at a time. Yeah. And then we get ourselves wrapped up in that. But then stress comes along with that. So to have a partner that helps you be able to, to just calm down and that person provides peace. That’s the select the best thing, right is it really is it’s like the best thing you know. So I want to make sure that that the listeners recognize that okay, this that this was a result, Amy and Ben is his name. Yes. So I remember, Amy and Ben attracted each other, right, Amy attracted Ben because she knew exactly what she wanted. She knew what it felt like, when Ben came around, she recognized that feeling and she knew right away without having to, you know, take months or years in order to figure it out. So doing the work is so very important. Being having either a coach as a best friend or having a coach that you can talk to, to ask you the questions, the deeper questions to make you think a little bit more. To have you look at things in a different way is ideal. Because if you’re always in your head, you think you can figure it out. If you were able to figure it out, then you would have done it a long time ago. So sometimes you need to step out of your head and out of your own thought process and step away from your brain so to speak so that someone else and allow someone else to pour into you and that’s what coaches do. So, Amy, Dr. Amy Hager, I just want to say thank you so much for being on this special episode of the happy executive woman podcast. I want you to take some time right now and share with our listeners where how they can find you and just let them know what links you will be providing for the show notes page, and how they can work with you should they desire to.

Dr. Amy Heger: 
Okay, great. So um, you can always head over to my website at www.DrAmyHeger.com. But I’m also on Instagram and Facebook and TikTok all under the same at Dr. Amy Hager, I have a ton of free stuff. I do have a podcast. It’s called the Unwritten Rules of Business with Dr. Amy Hager, I have my new book that just came out it’s called You Can Do It All By Mastering Your Gifts. And it is definitely for that entrepreneur that has a zillion ideas. And then you don’t do any of them. I talk about strategies that I use as somebody that with undiagnosed ADD, ADHD, where I have a zillion ideas, and I’ve learned how to prioritize them. Because sometimes ideas are for right now. Sometimes they’re for later. And sometimes they’re not even for you. Because when you get into this space, you are going to come in contact with so many other people. And you never know God might have planted something in your heart and you’ve kind of started to grow it. And then you’re ready to just hand off that little pot to somebody else because it wasn’t really for you. That person just wasn’t ready for it. And God is so perfect and how he connects us all and moves all these pieces in the universe. Like he knew that if I give this to Amy right now and seven years, she’s going to come in contact with somebody else. And that person is going to need that at that moment. And I’ll be able to pass it off. And I’ve been able to do that and see that happen. And so I share some of those strategies in my book. Another thing and I’ll share this because I know that people come to you about relationships in general. One of the new webinars I have is about creating an emotional support system in your business. When we leave our day jobs. We are as toxic as they may be. Sometimes you are leaving a supervisor and co-workers and those two relationships do serve a very important purpose. Your co-workers are your battle buddies so to speak, you can go to them and brainstorm. And you guys had that in common. Your supervisor is giving you benchmarks they give you feedback, good, bad, or ugly they and they are the ones that sign your timecard, so to speak. And that’s the motivation for you to go to work. When you move into the entrepreneur space, you no longer have those but you’re still seeking them. It’s almost like a not muscle memory but almost like an emotional memory. You’re looking for somebody else to give you that feedback and to set back those benchmarks. You’re looking for people, for your co-workers, you’re looking for those people to brainstorm with and chat with. And the only pool you have not come from is your personal. And those people do not sign up to be your co-workers. Right? Try to talk to them, like co-workers, and they kind of look at you like, okay, whatever, and they quickly want to change the subject. It’s because they’re not your co-workers, and that’s okay. And then once, if they start giving two cents, then they’re going to try to get 510 15. And at some point, you’re that boundary is now gone. And that’s not going to be a healthy relationship. In regards to a supervisor, sometimes we go to our parents, and again, they’re not our co-workers, and less and less your parents own a thriving business, I wouldn’t recommend going to them, just because they’re gonna talk to you, like they’re, you know, like their child. And that’s not going to be a healthy relationship either. So I just encourage people don’t even go to your family, and just really tried to go and have other opportunities to build this relationship, you know, these emotional supports and your entrepreneur space, whether it’s through classes like you and I took because you’re definitely one of those people, and there’s probably four or five other women that I met in PLATFORM that I would consider my business co-workers, my business besties, I have a whole Facebook group of business, sister support group. And that’s what that’s the purpose of that is to teach businesswomen how to find how to build this, build these relationships with, you know, building your co-workers, so to speak, finding that mentor that can help you set benchmarks, whether it’s in the form of a coach, or mentor, whichever. But all of those are really important. So I do have a free webinar for that, too. If people are interested, you can get that on my website as well.

Coach Anita Charlot:
Thank you, thank you so much, Dr. Amy, you know, you made something, you made a point in it, I wrote this down. So we talked about it today, we talked about how Ben is extremely supportive of what you do. And he, you know, he learns how to edit your podcast how to do them better. And there are times where you know, you can be in a relationship or married to someone who just is not interested in helping you with your business. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do your business. So that’s what you know, I work with a lot of women who are either dual printers or executive women who recognize that you know what, this is not my husband or my family members, you know, my sister, my cousin, you know, I would think that they would want to support me. And as Dr. Amy said, you know, they’re not your co-workers that did not give them the vision for your business. He gave you the vision. And so you have to learn how to surround yourself with people who celebrate you, and not just tolerate you. And so that’s what you know, we are here to help you with, right we’re here to help you identify what you need and help you and lead you on the path to getting it we may be able to provide something for you. But then there’s always something in your space that you’re not aware of that you can’t see, that is available for you as well. And that’s what a coach’s job is to help you see those things that you can’t see. So this has been amazing. I am so enjoying these special episodes. Thank you so much, Dr. Amy, and I’m sure that I will have you on again in the future. You just keep pumping out books and products and courses. And I’m waiting on you to tell me and we didn’t talk about this. But we talked about we mentioned the I mentioned the daycare that’s opening up across the street and why you’re not worried about that.

Dr. Amy Heger: 
Oh, yeah. Well, it ended up not opening up. It’s a dentist’s office. But yeah, I did get an email saying that they were going to be opening a childcare center in our parking lot. There’s like a separate building in our strip mall in our little area, and I definitely had a panic attack. And then you know, God gave me peace, because I always default that yes, I’m the person that I’m the name on the lease and the bank account. But this was God’s idea. So that helps me walk in confidence because God doesn’t come from a place of failure, his stuff doesn’t fail. So as long as I’m actively doing things, you know, answering phone calls and parents call, you know, sending taking out business cards, making sure my staff is, you know, trained properly getting out the community making sure people know about us like the kids are coming. I mean, just in his last month, we had six new kids start which is like a huge boom for us. Oh, um, so yeah, I just really had to sit and think okay, well, God wouldn’t be all that I wouldn’t be able to sign the lease. I would not have had the staff. I didn’t know any of these people before I open like every person that has helped my business be successful or complete strangers, and God just sent them to me. So I just have to walk in that that faith that like okay, if they One right in front, it is what it is. But going back to what I was talking about the very beginning about profiling my audience, some childcare centers may do this, but just based off of my research and what I see, they don’t offer the flexibility. They don’t you know, they’re not doing that type of work in regards to profiling their audience, they just offer a service during the day. And that is what it is. But I just know with my moms and the ones who do work evening overnights, like you just have to, you just have to offer different types of services. And so even if it’s only a matter of time before some other daycare center in Maryland decides to buy beds and do it overnight, but they’re never going to be just, they’re never going to be less.

Coach Anita Charlot: 
No, they’re not. And they’re never going to have your energy, trust me, they’re never going to have your energy or your spirit

Dr. Amy Heger: 
And they don’t have my staff, they don’t have the note dynamic that we have here. Like it’s just it’s not going to be the same. So I just walk in that, then you know, so.

Coach Anita Charlot: 
Well, thanks again. I look forward to catching up with you soon. I know you’re a very busy lady. And if you are interested, and give us the title of your book again, because I purchased it and I plan on reading it for sure.

Dr. Amy Heger: 
Yes, it’s called you can do it all by mastering your gifts.

Coach Anita Charlot: 
Yes, that is an amazing title. And it is on Amazon and Kindle.

Dr. Amy Heger: 
Yes. And hopefully by the time that this episode comes out, it’ll be in print.

Coach Anita Charlot: 
Okay, great. Yeah. All right. Well, thank you again. And thanks, everyone, for listening. I have enjoyed this episode immensely. I love these conversations. It’s just like me sitting across the chair, the bar stool or the couch, talking to my business bestie. So I hope you enjoyed hearing from Dr. Amy today as much as I did. Until next time.