PODCAST EPISODE № 48

Candid Conversations with Phenomenal Executive Women: Dr. Rennes Toussaint

by Anita Charlot

Listen to Candid Conversations with Phenomenal Executive Women: Dr. Rennes Toussaint:

Hello, dear listeners. This week on the podcast, we have a candid conversation with the incredible Dr. Rennes Toussaint!

Dr. Rennes is a doctor of Chiropractic, mental wellness coach, and mental wellness-focused content creator. With her dynamic energy, she encourages women to move their bodies (Dance 4 Mental Health) to gain self-confidence, decrease anxiety & depression and develop self-motivation.

In 2015 after graduating with a doctorate degree, Dr. Rennes realized she had lost her identity while chasing this idea of success. The search took her on a 3-year long ex-pat journey in Peru and Honduras. There she was able to reconnect to her true self, deepen her relationship with God, and find her deeper purpose in life. It was also at this time she started dancing for her mental health.

Today she coaches women who suffer in silence, to connect with their true identity which is the key to being fulfilled and maintaining their mental wellness. She hopes to partner up with more companies and brands that align with her mission.

What You Learn:

Dr. Rennes’ journey through medicine and chiropractic to a mental health focus
All about the Sign of Strength on Etsy and the Dance 4 Mental Health
The importance of ‘just doing it’, and if you don’t like it, you can move on
Dr. Rennes’ secret to finding your happiness!

Featured on the Show:

Find out more and reach out to Dr. Rennes on her website!
Go shop for some Sign of Strength gear on Dr. Rennes’ Etsy shop
Follow Dr. Rennes on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn
Learn more about how you can work directly with Anita
Love the show? Leave a review of the show on Apple Podcasts (click the link to find out how).
Follow me on Instagram!
Find me on Facebook!

Episode Transcript

Coach Anita Charlot: 
Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of candid conversations with phenomenal women. This is the Happy Executive Women Podcast and I am your host, Anita Charlot, and I have with me today… you guys know how this goes every time I have a guest on the show for candid conversations. It is like you are sitting on the couch, across from us eavesdropping into our own conversation. So this is Girl Talk, girl time, women talk, women time. This is when we just, you know, let our hair down and just be real. So you may, if you’ve heard me in the past, you may catch an F-bomb or two. I don’t know. We never know it, we just go with the flow. It is what it is. All right. So I have with me today, Dr. Rennes Toussaint, and I have to tell you, we shared the stage recently at a Flourish Media Conference in Miami, Florida. And we were on a panel we were talking about mental health. So you know how you meet someone, and it’s like you’ve known this person for a while? We talked before we got on the stage. We talked while we were on the stage, we talked after we got off the stage, we even went to dinner, and we continued the conversation there. So I just had to… she is just such a phenomenal woman. I just had to have her on the podcast so that you can get to see and hear and experience Dr. Rennes the way that I have. So I’m gonna stop talking because you know, the last time it was so long, I had to cut it up into two different podcast episodes because we just kept talking. So I’m gonna try to keep you guys… I’m not gonna keep you here long, but you know, if the conversation is flowing, I can’t promise you anything. 
All right. So, Dr. Rennes, why don’t you share a little bit about yourself with our listeners. Of course, they saw or get to see your bio on the show notes page, but let’s hear from you. Tell us a little bit about your path to becoming a chiropractor, and is this something that you always wanted to do?

Dr. Rennes Toussaint:
Hi, thank you so much for having me, and happy to be here. So yes, my name is Dr. Rennes Toussaint-Kasherterow. Sorry, I am married, so I have to hit the hyphen. So I am a Doctor of Chiropractic, and my journey started… Let me take you back. So I came to the country when I was 13 years old from the Caribbean. I was born and raised in the Caribbean, I came to America, and it’s always been instilled in me to get an education, you get to go to America and get an education. And so that’s what I did. I threw myself into school, and the thing is that I didn’t have any example of anybody else in my family going to college. I am the youngest of three, and I was the first one to go into college and really I just wanted to go to college, I really did not know what I wanted to do.
I am just going to try to figure it out as I go along. I started with nursing I was like, eeehhh… then I started athletic training because I played basketball in college. I was like, Okay, I like sports. So I’ll just be involved in sports. So I did athletic training, didn’t like that. I switched colleges, and I started doing physical therapy, and pre-physical therapy, and graduated with that. And while I was studying to go into the master’s program, now it’s a doctorate program in physical therapy, I ran into a chiropractor at my job. And he was like, Girl, what do you do? You’re always studying, you’re always like, what are you studying? What do you want to go to school for? And I was like, Yeah, you know, I’m doing physical therapy. And he’s like, oh, have you heard about chiropractic? I was like, No, I’ve never heard of it. At that point, I was maybe 23. I was like, I’ve never heard of it. And he’s like, look into it. You have to understand the philosophy behind chiropractic, but look into it, maybe you’ll be interested. And I did one research and I was like, I’m going to do this. This is what I want to do. The thing that got me is that chiropractors and chiropractic believe in the body, the power that makes the body heals itself, meaning the body can heal itself naturally. And I was like, say no more, right? So for the first time I left home, I moved to Atlanta, Georgia, and I went to chiropractic school, and it’s been history, and that’s how I really got into chiropractic. I went in just from googling, like a Google search. I just felt like, you know what, I’m just gonna go with the flow. And again, I’m still just trying to figure it out. I picked something, and I just went with it.

Anita:
Wow, wow, that is amazing. You know, the thing I remember, and maybe it’s changed now, and it’s just me… I tell my chiropractor we go together because I am always at the chiropractor, you know, not as much for – and we’ll get into this a little later – but not as much for pain management because I don’t have that pain anymore. But it’s just like, I can go and get a massage, you know, a therapeutic massage. I’m swiping my, what do you call it, the FSA card? Every time I go in, it’s like, well, we’re gonna use this money, we’re not gonna waste this money.
But in the past, like regular, traditional MDs, right? They were like, oh, no, don’t go to a chiropractor. Don’t go to a chiropractor. Why do you think the MDs tried to… I don’t know if, again, I don’t know if it’s still this way, but at that time, why were they telling people not to go to the chiropractor? Why didn’t they like the chiropractor?

Dr. Rennes:
Honestly, it’s still this way. When I tell people, I’m a Doctor of Chiropractic, or I say I’m a doctor, and it’s like what kind of doctor you are? And I say chiropractic like, I get, I get two reactions like, right? Oh, you’re not really a doctor, or can I get… my neck hurts or my back hurts. Those are two reactions I get, right? Funny thing is, we believe the same thing. We do! When it comes to the cause of neck and back pain, we believe, basically, we believe the same thing. For some reason, I believe, because we take a holistic approach with no medication, no surgery, and I don’t blame anyone, if you go to medical school, you’re taught to treat patients this particular way. I go to chiropractic school, and I have a different way of seeing things. So I don’t understand why we have such an animosity. I think it’s because of the research. According to them, we don’t have enough research that it works. But Hello, obviously it works. Like people are getting amazing results from chiropractic. There’s enough for all of us like, and the main focus is making sure the patient is okay. What is the best form of treatment for our patients? Right now I work in an office with medical doctors with PTs, and we can work together, but I wish I could give you a better answer as to why. It’s such a don’t go there. But
I don’t know. I don’t want to get too much into it.

Anita:
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I just… I was like, this makes no sense. If it’s going to help, and if what you’re doing is not helping, you know, you being the MDs, why not try every thing that you can, right? Especially if there is no medication involved. I think, personally, for me, medication is like the last resort. I’m gonna try everything else. I’m gonna rub an oil here. I’m going to put something in the diffuser there, you know, I’m gonna stand, look out the window and say some affirmations and touch the part. I’m gonna do whatever I have to do, right? Yes, whatever it is. But, you know, that’s neither here nor there. So I found this to be so interesting. So we talked about your chiropractic journey and how you ended up being a chiropractor. At what point did you incorporate mental health into your practice?

Dr. Rennes:
So before I graduated, I did my last semester in Ghana. I choose to do an externship in Ghana, Africa, and I absolutely love the experience of teaching people about their bodies and teaching them something different. Again, all they know is medication and surgeries, and a lot of them can’t afford it, or they don’t get really good results. So I said, You know what, when I came back to America, I was like, I don’t wanna be here. I don’t want to go work and deal with insurance, and I want to go out in the world and be that difference to other people. So I decided I ended up in Peru for two years. So I was overseas for three years. When I came back to America, it was like something was missing getting back into, you know, the regular way of practicing. And I felt my spirit say mental health, and I was like, what? Mental health, like, that’s not what I went to school for? Again, part of my time, my entire journey is about just figuring it out as I go, like, okay, mental health, like, you know, I’ll start a little side business. So I started selling T-shirts.

Anita:
There we go!

Dr. Rennes:
T-shirts, mental health, bringing awareness, and that was in 2018. So I started
creating T-shirts to bring awareness about mental health. And at that time, it’s so funny, I thought that it wasn’t really working. And I found out years down the line, a lot of people started telling me like, yeah, you know, I started going to therapy because I started seeing your posts, and you’re talking about mental health and your T-shirts. I’m like, what?

Anita:
That’s amazing!

Dr. Rennes:
Right? So, that was 2018. 2020 comes around, and I started doing the Dance 4 Mental Health. I had one live class. Before that, God basically told me, Well, the T-shirts are cute, but to go deeper because that’s not what I told you to do. So I was like, Okay, let me use what I have what I enjoy, use my gifts, which is dancing. So like, Okay, I’m gonna start a Dance 4 Mental Health class because you know, to help women to feel confident, yes. Release your anxiety and things like that. I had one live class. Phenomenal, amazing. And then March, the pandemic hit. And I was like, Oh, what are we gonna do? And luckily, I was part of this women’s group, a business group. Community is everything. Accountability is everything, and one of my coaches, she encouraged me like, you know, everyone is at home. This is new for everyone. Why don’t you, you know, do it online? Why don’t you put the class online? I resisted it. I was like, yeah, no, it’s not the same. It’s nice to be in a room, you can tell I like to be in a room with people. The energy is just amazing when you’re with people. So I resisted it for a little bit, and then, you know what, I went ahead, and I did and so I started having weekly dances for mental health classes online. And long story short, from that I just started coaching women. Women started originally like, okay, how can you help me with certain things. And that’s how I started incorporating… The more I did the research, the more feedback I get from other people from women, how, you know, the mental health, the stress is affecting their body. I started incorporating in my practice, ya know, when patients come to me, it’s like, Ah, I have neck pain and back pain, I started asking those questions to really have them think like, hey, what else is going on? Like, are you stressing in these areas of your life? A lot of times, people aren’t aware. They’re not aware of how their thoughts and the daily stress can affect their physical body. So I am still, I’m just still figuring it out. I’m like, I’m kind of implemented little by little into my practice asking those questions, but like, hey, try this, you know, try breathing or you have headaches? Does the headache come on when you’re super stressed or when you have a deadline or somebody pisses you off? So it really just came from the man above or the spirit within me to, you know, do something else because I did not feel like I was making a bigger impact, a big enough impact just focusing on just the physical pain.

Anita:
Yeah. Wow, that is amazing. I lovingly call you the dancing chiropractor, and if you guys haven’t, we’re gonna give all of your contact information in the show notes, but if you haven’t seen Dr. Rennes on Instagram. She is dancing at the same time while she’s covering mental health topics and what’s so funny, is it’s almost like these mini skits, right? And it’s just so much fun to watch. It’s like, oh, what’s she doing today? What’s she doing today? So you definitely want to go to her Instagram page and check her out! So, question for you, let’s go back and talk about these T-shirts. Are you still selling these T-shirts or not?

Dr. Rennes:
Actually, I am! I currently still have an Etsy shop. It’s called Sign of Strength because the idea started is that we think of people with mental illnesses or mental health struggles as a sign of weakness, but it isn’t. Its strength, it shows a sign of strength. So that’s why I named the shop the Sign of Strength, the Sign of Strength on Etsy.

Anita:
Nice. Okay, I’m headed there after we’re done. And your dance for mental health classes just are you still doing those online or now that the pandemic is kind of… Well, depends. It keeps ebbing and flowing. So are you still doing those classes or no?

Dr. Rennes:
We still have a private group on Facebook, we’ll pop in here and there, but again, I’m really on the education part. That’s why you see my videos. I’m dancing, but I also want to educate people as well. So that’s like my main focus. I realized even though I love dancing, I realized I don’t enjoy putting like a full class together and picking the songs. I’m really the go with the flow girl. I realized I didn’t enjoy that part of it so I kind of put that on pause.

Anita:
Yeah. And you know that that’s something too, I want to point that out because it’s very important. We have to, as women, we tend to feel like we have to do something, right. Oh, I started it, I gotta finish it. And even if we don’t like it, we don’t have to do anything we don’t want to do. All right, we get to change our minds. We can change our mind, we start something, people, and a lot of women will sometimes not even start something because they’re like, Well, what if I don’t like it? Right? Well, if you don’t like it, then you just stop doing it. But don’t allow that to stop you from trying it. At least you should try everything at least once and decide whether or not you like it.

Dr. Rennes:
Listen, I still struggle with that. And I’m telling you my store like man, I tried a lot of different things. And I still struggle of trying more. So if we get anything from this podcast, just do it. Just do it. Just do it. Just try it. If it doesn’t work, if you don’t enjoy it, if it doesn’t bring you joy, then move on to the next thing. That’s okay.

Anita:
And I don’t know if it’s, it has something to do with me being at the age and I am everybody… I talk about my age all the time. So I don’t have a problem with that, but I’m 56. I’ll be 57 this year, and so I say to myself, well, you know, what is it that I want to do? What is it that I haven’t tried? What is it that I want to taste? Where is it that I want to go? Right? And people used to call it a bucket list back in the day, and I was like, oh, that’s for old people. Old people create bucket lists. So instead of me calling it a bucket list, I’m just gonna call it a things-I-want-to-do list, right?

Dr. Rennes:
I love that! You know what, I want to go to Bali next year, so I need to write my things-I-want-to-do list.

Anita:
There you go, there you go. Put it on the list, and go write it all down.
So when you talked about, you know, talking to women, you know, when they have pain, and talking about getting into the mental aspect, the mental and emotional aspect of it, it made me think of Louise Hay, and the book that Louise Hay has called, You Can Heal Your Life. And what she does in this book, she has a whole entire table that she says, Okay, if you have, if you’re having stomach pain, here it is. Here could be a couple of the physical reasons why. But here are a couple of the spiritual reasons why. Right? And it’s been very instrumental in helping me to identify because remember, I told you, I’m going to try anything and everything I can first, especially with my, you know, my background in metaphysics. Let’s go, let’s deal with it on a spiritual level first, and see what we can do, and then if we need to move into the the medical, then we can do that, but I’ll try anything and everything before going there. And she talks a lot about you know, the… and I think we heard this before too, there’s a spiritual solution to every problem. And in this case, there is an emotional or a mental component to stress. In 2020 at the height of the Black Lives Matter movement, I was super stressed. Life had shifted, right? We were working from home, we had the pandemic going. I was in a very stressful position at work, and so I was holding a lot of tension, right? There were a lot of things that I wanted to say that I couldn’t say or felt that I couldn’t say. So I was holding that in too. So I would have to leave work and go for an emergency chiro session because my head and shoulders – my whole neck would lock, and I couldn’t turn my head. At the same time, I was going through this trauma-informed yoga training so that I could use that to help my clients, and what I didn’t realize, girl, was that Black people had trauma. Because we call it issues. We don’t say we got trauma, we say we got issues, right? So as I’m in this class, and I’m talking about this, you know, going through and doing the homework and everything, I was like, wait, I have trauma. Oh, my goodness, I have trauma. And then it started to open Pandora’s Box, everything started to come up and out and that was causing more pain, you know, more headaches, more stress, more tension. And so my trauma-informed yoga training instructor, her name is Kay, she told me you should go and see a somatic experienced practitioner, which is a person, you know, a mental health person whose also work focuses on the body, right? And how you process your stress, teaching you how to basically come back to your body and identify that. And I was so… girl, I was so gone, like I was not in this body. Right? I was in my head, and I didn’t have like… I just couldn’t tell, I was just so disconnected from it. So as we started to work on it, I started to identify the moments when I could feel the tension coming on, and I would stop and say, Okay, what’s happening? Just like you tell your clients, right, what’s happening at this moment? And that was very instrumental in helping me to recall my spirit back into my body and then be fully present. Now, that was good for me. I don’t know if it was good for the people around me because that also meant that I was going to keep it real. Right? I’m not holding this in. You’re not worth me locking up my neck and shoulders. Right? Just girl, honey.

Dr. Rennes:
Exactly. You basically just hold your emotions, which he was explaining basically if we don’t express ourselves, we hold on to the emotion that that gets stored in our body and our muscle and we don’t learn how to release it, it’s going to develop into more serious issues absolute pain. So I love that! I just actually got into somatic exercising. So I love it.

Anita:
Good! Who knew? Who knew we had all these things in common! This is exactly why we get along. So, question for you: now let’s move on to the business side of it. But we’re gonna move into the dating and relationship aspect while you were traveling all over the globe. Tell us about your journey as you were figuring out, right, going with the flow. How did that impact your dating life?

Dr. Rennes:
So really, my dating life started with me identifying the things I love about myself because I can tell you for years… like you were saying, you weren’t in your body. I felt that way. I felt that way. I did not love myself. I was sick of validation from any and everywhere. I could not even after achieving something so major as a doctorate degree, I didn’t know who I was. I could not recognize myself. I was at my lowest. Talk about anxiety and depression. Like I was so confused, and that was a catalyst for me. Like you know, I need a new start. I need a fresh start. I’m getting out of here. So I went to Peru, and you know the first couple of weeks, Oh, great. You know, you think you’re in a new environment, but, sis, you’re still you! The trauma and your issues, right, it’s not going to go away! The anxiety is still there. You had a moment of, you know, newness and excitement, you hid it away. And then all those emotions start coming up again.
And I’m just like, stop running. It’s literally my sign to still, like, stop running. First of all, I can run to come back home because I made this French exit. You know, I’m going to Peru. And mind you, I just graduated. So this was my first job. So not like I had money in my account to just buy a ticket to come home. And I had committed to this small family practice for a year. I was like, I can’t run home because, you know, I’m feeling you know, some type of way. So, you know, I stayed with it. That’s really when my self-journey and my love journey started. I couldn’t run anymore. I was in a foreign country. I was alone, and that was key for me. Being alone, so I could really get to know myself. I could really connect with the higher power, really connect with God. Because when I was back home, there were too many distractions. You know, if I don’t want to deal with myself like, Hey, girl, let’s go dancing. Let’s go have some drinks, you know? It’s still out, you know? So being alone in a country where I was just getting to know, learning the language, dinner, it wasn’t comfortable going out. I just had to sit at home with myself. And actually, that’s when I started dancing for mental health. That is when I started dancing because I was getting so much anxiety. Starting every morning going to work. I was so anxious. I was in my head a lot. And I was like, You know what, just play music. That’s one thing I knew, one thing I loved. And I started playing music. And that helped me a lot. So that’s where the idea of Dance 4 Mental Health came from. So I would say about six months being in Peru, that’s when I met my now-husband.

Anita:
Whoa. While you were in Pero? Okay.

Dr. Rennes:
Yes.

Anita:
Wow. Okay!

Dr. Rennes:
So my love Journey started with me. I feel like, if I hadn’t started the work with myself, I probably would have met him, but I don’t think we would have made it this far if I didn’t start the journey on myself first.

Anita:
Yeah. So you were there for six months, or you were doing… now, if you’re going to work on yourself and work on connecting with the higher power, Peru is the place to do it, honey. Okay, that is the place to do it! Goodness. So you were there for six months.

Dr. Rennes: 
I was there six months before I met him, but I stayed for two years. Yeah. Yeah.

Anita:
Okay. So tell us, and I love this type of stuff, so tell us your creation story. How did you meet?

Dr. Rennes:
Okay, so that’s another part of the story. So we met on Tinder while we were in Peru. Long story short, we connected because… how did that… it works when you match. Right? You match and you have conversations. Again, he was in Peru as well for work in my city in Peru, the city I lived and worked in. He was there that weekend, but that same weekend, I was traveling somewhere else. So I didn’t get to meet him the first weekend in person. And he was like, You know what, I’m going back to the US. You know, maybe we will, you know, meet one day. I was like, oh, whatever, you know. That kind of thing, right? It just so happened, his plans changed with the company he was working for. He had to come back to my city two weeks later. That’s when we met, and that’s when we had our first date. And we saw each other that weekend. And then he went back to the US and then went back, then he went to Spain. So we were in… I was in Peru. He was in Spain. We talked about 5000 miles away. We used to have a long-distance relationship.

Anita:
Wow. Those are good though. Some people say that they don’t like them, but to me, that’s the best way to really get to know somebody. Right?

Dr. Rennes:
For me, it was the best decision. If I’m just being transparent, a lot of my past relationships I got physical way too soon. And that clouded my judgment. Again, like, I said, I didn’t love myself, right? Once you have that, once you give yourself away to someone, it’s like you automatically just cling to them, right? And it’s hard to like, you know, with him being in a long-distance relationship, the communication, we actually know each other. It wasn’t easy. Well, the communication was was easy, but when we got together for the first time for a long period of time, like we were in the same room with the same city for a month, it was kind of rocky! But we had that foundation with communication, sharing, and getting to know each other for me. A lot of people are like, Oh, you guys are still together? Oh yeah, long-distance relationships don’t work. That’s fine. But the best thing about long-distance relationships, like, I had the opportunity to continue focusing on myself, and loving myself while having someone to support me through it.

Anita:
Yes, that is the thing right there. Right. My niece and her husband met in college. She was a freshman. He was a senior, and then he went on. They went to UofI. He went on, and he moved to Detroit for work, and she was still at school. And this was before like, this was before we had Zoom. I think it was, I don’t know what it was. But probably, yeah, it was 20 years ago. They’ve been married 15 years, I think. But they would have like movie night like they made it work. Right. And then I think that’s one of the ways that it forces you, especially women, it forces you to really get clear on the communication, to work on whatever insecurities pop up. And I hear you, girl, because  even with my husband…  We both lived in Chicago, but I lived in Oak Park, and he lived far south close to Indiana. So it was like 45 minutes. So it wasn’t like we could just pop up over each other’s houses. I had responsibilities. He had responsibilities, I was working the side hustle, and he was working a side hustle. So our time together in the same space was limited. But that allowed me especially coming from, you know, the dating experiences that I had, to really work on who I was, right and work on getting confident and working through my, now that I know, trauma, you know, working through all that stuff as it related to the dating world. And it worked. It worked well for us. We dated six years before we even moved in together. And then two years after that before we got married. So we’ve been together almost 14 years now.

Dr. Rennes:
That’s amazing.

Anita:
But having that time, like I said, that time apart gives you the ability to connect on a deeper level.

Dr. Rennes:
Right. And then also, we learned the best lessons from our bad relationships. The relationships that didn’t work out. I remember being in I won’t even call this a relationship. It was a situation-ship where he was saying all those negative things about me. And when it came back around to me through somebody else… through another woman that he said all those things, it made me for one to be like, Oh my god. People could see the insecurity that I have. I thought I was hiding it. That was a changing moment for me. I was like, wow, you know, I thought I was hiding all those insecurities. Right? I was, you know, I thought I was good at faking it, but clearly, I was not and it made me realize, okay, you need to start working on this. So I learned the best relationship, the best advice, or the best lessons from those failed relationships. 
Anita:
Absolutely. It’s almost like that woman tapped you on your shoulders. Like girl, your insecurities are showing.

Dr. Rennes:
Yep. Clean it up.

Anita:
Oh, my goodness. You said something so profound. If you, and this is one of the things that I work with my clients, and it’s hard for people to do this initially because they’re holding on to the pain, and they want to point a finger, but it’s like, let’s look at the lessons that you walked away with, right? If this person was a narcissistic asshole, now you know what a narcissistic asshole looks like. Right? So that will help you to you know, steer clear a lot more from that type of person than before. If you realize in your last relationship, you put that person first all the time, and you didn’t speak up, now you know! Use your voice now, it’s time for you to speak up. So there are lessons to be learned from every relationship.

Dr. Rennes:
And if you don’t learn that lesson, you’re gonna keep repeating those same relationships over and over again. Did I learn that lesson all the way after that? No, I dated a few more not-so-good people, and the same thing came up, and I already knew it. But the same thing came up. But yes, until you learn those lessons, you’re going to keep repeating them.

Anita:
Yeah. Yes, that is amazing, honey. Okay. Now that you have, well, now that you guys are married, have you seen or have you had to make a shift or change in how you run your practice?

Dr. Rennes:
I would say no, like, I have the most supportive husband ever. I wish I could say they’re things like he pushes me… Okay, let’s put it this way. Like there are simple things with the home that he helps like, he helps cook, you know, helps clean, like those are things that yeah, as women and I manifested this actually because growing up… I grew up with very powerful and strong women who did it all. My mom did it all. She ran the business, took care of the home, took him the whole village. We both grew up in a village in the Caribbean, and I just saw my mom working so hard. And then my dad was… there were married, but my dad was here in the US, preparing for us to come up. But I said it from day one. I was like, no, I’m not doing all of that. I want a husband who will cook for me too. I want to help him do all those things for me too. So when I say if anything changed the way I run my practice… No, he’s just been so helpful. So freaking helpful.

Anita:
That is amazing.

Dr. Rennes:
Okay, so we don’t have kids yet. So when we do have kids, I’m sure things are going to change.

Anita:
Oh, that’s what nannies are for. You know, I think… I look back, you said your mom handled it all. My mom was an entrepreneur, and she had her own salon. And then she also took care of the house and everything. And I looked at my mom. And I don’t know, you know, how we talk about past lives and my past life. I must have been royalty because I can’t stand housework. I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to do it. I was blessed with kids, you know, to do the housework for me. It’s like no, do this! Chore charts, all of it. I don’t want to!

Dr. Rennes:
People, my people, my family, and I grew up… I have an older sister and she does the same thing. She’s amazing, but a lot of times she’s like, You’re so lazy. And I felt bad before but no.

Anita:
I’m not lazy! No. And this is how I look at it right? Even when I started… When I sat down, I was like, wait, I never really liked doing stuff. There were these little girls that lived across the street from us. I would pay them to clean my room and do my laundry and stuff. Right? I’m like in my first year of college, and I was still living at home at that time. So they would come over, clean my room, and do my laundry. And to me, it’s like okay, well, I’m helping them. Right. They’re helping me but I’m helping them because they’re getting paid.

Dr. Rennes:
Exactly.

Anita:
Right, and then when it came down to you know, somebody cleaning the house, I’m like, I’m putting somebody’s kids through school. I’m helping stimulate the economy. I don’t feel bad about this.

Dr. Rennes:
Exactly. Listen, I don’t even want to drive.

Anita:
Well, you know what, I hate driving too. Now that you mentioned that… So I lease my cars, right? And January of next year will be the third year for me to take this one back. And they give you 12,000 miles per year. So I could take the truck back with 36,000 miles. Do you know how many miles I have on this truck? 7,500.

Dr. Rennes:
Oh my goodness. Well, I mean, the pandemic happened, and you were home…

Anita:
Yeah, that’s true. But even before the one before this, I think I was only at 12,000 miles. I don’t like to drive.

Dr. Rennes:
In three years?? Oh, Lord.

Anita:
So I don’t mind whenever we go somewhere together, my husband drives. Like maybe a few times a year I’ll get in the driver’s seat when we’re in the car together. But he drives and I do the sleeping on the passenger side. I’m a car baby!

Dr. Rennes:
Me too. This was my husband’s first week of being away from work, and actually, in the next two weeks, he’ll be in Chicago. The struggle like… Oh, I know I have to drive myself. Pray for me, girl, pray for me.

Anita:
Okay, yeah. Leave earlier. Make sure you give yourself enough time, don’t rush because they’re kinda crazy out there. Ten and two, but just don’t sit up on the steering wheel – lean back a little bit. Oh my gosh. That is so funny. We are the same person. I remember like you I had the guilty. I felt guilty, right. But I am running the business, and I then work a full-time job. I have a husband, I also have a mother, who’s 88, and I’m, you know, her caretaker. She doesn’t live with me. I don’t take care of her physically, but I’m in charge of her life. So that’s a that’s when… that’s a lot. Right? So was it last year? I think it was. Yeah, it was last year. I started forgetting things. My mom has dementia, so my husband’s like, well, you may want to get that checked out because you’re starting to forget things like your mom. And I was like, oh, no, no, I’m not, you know, I don’t know what… how you just gonna tell me I got dementia? This is what I’m saying in my head, I’m not saying this out loud. So I knew that I needed to get my mom evaluated, like fully evaluated. They have given her medication from a 10-question piece of paper that they gave her to answer 10 questions on. You can’t do a full evaluation on people with 10 questions. So I decided to go through a neuro-psych evaluation myself, four and a half hours, all this testing, I’m like, Okay, this is good enough, that if I can do it, then I know it’s gonna take my mom a little longer. But this is the level I want them to do for my mom. So I sit down in the neuro-psych’s office, and we have a conversation before she takes me to the testing room. And she’s like, well tell me why you’re here. I was like, Well, you know, so I started giving her all the things I’m doing. And then I’m like, yeah, and then my mom calls like, 10 times a day. But I tell her don’t call unless it’s important. And she was still driving at the time at 87. Yeah, 86 and 87. She was still driving. And I was like, so I didn’t want to not answer the phone. I don’t know if she’s hurt or whatever. So this was stressful, right? So the stress, you know, fill in the stress and holding stress within my body not really speaking, and holding on to it. She was like, Okay, well, let’s go ahead and get you started with the testing. Two weeks later, we get on a video call. And she’s like, well, you’ll be happy to know that there are there’s nothing physically or cognitively wrong with your brain. The and I didn’t think there was but what is wrong is that you’re doing too much. I was like, what? Yep. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So at that moment, she’s like you, there’s nothing wrong now, but if you continue to push yourself to this level, there will be something wrong. So go ahead and do whatever you need to do. Don’t answer that phone 10 times. See what you can do to, you know, minimize those calls have or leave voicemails, and then you could check them when you’re in the process because what would happen was when my mom would call, and it would not be important, I would get so frustrated that my brain was just shut down. Like if I had a meeting that once I got off the phone, I couldn’t remember what the meeting was about. I couldn’t remember, I couldn’t present. It was like, I can’t live like this. So I hired Meghan, who was my EA at the time, she’s now the person that handles all the podcasts operations. I hired Ali, who redesigned my website. Of course, I can do all this stuff on my own, but it was too much. So I started offloading. So then I happened to be in this group on Facebook, it was Black women who decorate. Over 200, almost probably 300,000 women in there now, as you can only get in if you’re a Black woman. And there are women out there doing the darn thing. And it’s so positive. So you have women who are wanting to redo or make their space beautiful, and they’re living in like a 450-square-foot studio. And then you have women that are on there to live in seven and 10-bedroom mansions. But nobody shames anybody in that group, and one woman came, she was like, listen, Black women need to start normalizing hiring help.

Dr. Rennes:
Yes.

Anita:
She said, our mothers, our ancestors did everything. And that was a badge of honor. She’s like, but there is no badge of honor when you’re dying earlier. You’re getting, you know, making yourself sick, trying to be everything for everybody. And then she’s like, I have a gardener. She said, I have two nannies, you know, they alternate so that I don’t burn one of them out. She said I have a stylist that comes to my house. I have a chef that comes to my house, and she started naming all these things she has, and then she’s like, why should I let somebody else make me feel guilty for getting myself in a position in my life where I can afford these things? As Black women, we need to start normalizing hiring help for ourselves so that we can be emotionally present for our spouses. So we can be emotionally present for our children and or our friendships but things that make us happy. Instead of running ourselves crazy trying to do everything, just to say we did it.

Dr. Rennes:
I kid you not, Anita, I just had that conversation with my husband this morning. I was like, You know what, I don’t do this often. Like I need to go sit down and have somebody do my hair because I pride myself. Oh, I do my own hair. And then I saw a video this morning on Instagram. someone’s like, I’ll never sit down and get my hair braided for this long and her response was, Jackie Aina, I believe. Her response is like, it’s not about just sitting in the chair. You’re allowing someone to take care of you. I was like, this is me. I’ve prided myself on doing it myself forever since I’ve been natural for like 10 years.

Anita:
Yeah. Amazing, right? That’s it. Go sit in somebody’s chair. Be pampered.

Dr. Rennes:
Exactly.

Anita:
Yeah. And it was like everything. It’s almost like the universe was conspiring to give me this message. So I got the metaphor, I got the medical out of the way, right, and went to make sure there was nothing wrong. Because if there was, I wanted to get started on, you know, taking care of it. But there was nothing wrong. It’s just I was doing too much. And so I started to let go of those things. Now my mom is in a facility where you know if she calls and I can’t answer, I don’t feel bad, because I know she’s taken care of, and they would let me know if somebody is important.

Dr. Rennes:
Yes. So I’m so sorry.

Anita:
No, go ahead.

Dr. Rennes:
And that’s one thing I just want to mention, because of our generation… Millennials, we’re the most stressed generation, but the Gen Z’s are coming after us. They are on track to beat us. So like you said, we saw our mom and our parents do it all. But for some reason, well, I know why they weren’t as stressed as we are now. Because we have women who are working and have careers, and then you still, you know, taking care of the home, taking care of family. And especially as Black women, we’re still used to taking care of everyone. Yeah, everyone’s problem is our problem. It’s very, very important that we really, really start to set boundaries and take care of ourselves first, so that we could show up for other people in the right way, not when we’re burned out.

Anita:
Right, right. Yeah, cuz we’re not doing anybody, you know, good service at all. Right? We’re doing them a disservice by showing up tired and frustrated and irritated already. So when they get with us, they don’t get the best of us because we’re trying to spread ourselves too thin. So that is a lesson that I learned last year, and I’m not doing that again. I don’t want to go back there. I don’t want to go back there.

Dr. Rennes:
Thank God. It was a lesson, and you learned your lesson!

Anita:
I did. I did. Oh, man, this has been such a great time. So I want to thank you so much, Dr. Rennes, for being the dancing chiropractor, for being able and willing enough to answer the call of focusing on mental health because we don’t do it. And it’s one thing for us to have an idea about it, it’s another thing for us to actually put it into action. And who knows? The way that you do things today may continue to morph based on what you see your clients need, and that’s a good thing because as providers, we have to continue to I always call it hone our craft. Right? We may be trained in this way, but what is it that our clients need? What is it that they could benefit from and how can we have the biggest impact? So kudos to you! I’m so excited. Now you are located where?

Dr. Rennes:
So I currently practice in New York. Queens, New York.

Anita:
Okay. And do you do one on one coaching with women? Is it always in the office or do you do one on one coaching with women virtually as well?

Dr. Rennes:
Virtually. So the practice is strictly chiropractic, and then I coach women online separately.

Anita:
Okay. So before we tell people how they can find you, I’m going to ask you this question, and then I want you to just let the women have it, honey. What advice do you have for women either in business or just very, very busy about the importance of finding their happy place and continuing to be present in their happy place?

Dr. Rennes:
How do they find a happy place? Advise of finding your happy place… what brings you joy? What makes you lit up? And do more of that! For me, of course, it’s dancing. Also, I like to travel. What makes you really, really happy? What sets your soul on fire? Maybe it’s just listening to some music. Do that! That’s the simplest way to pour into yourself. Do more of what you love, do more of what sets you on fire, and make that non-negotiable. Like it’s a must. And we were just talking about being pampered and things like that. If that brings you joy, do more of that.

Anita:
Yeah. Yes. That is some good stuff right there, honey. Yes, you have to do more, and you have to put it in your schedule, right, block time as you said. You have to make it a non-negotiable, and I find that if I don’t put it in my calendar, it’s not going to happen. It has to be in there because I’m so conditioned with the calendar, so I should be just as conditioned with my happy moments as I am with the work moments.

Dr. Rennes:
Or book ahead of time! Pay for it, pay for that trip, pay for that massage, pay for it! Pay for it ahead of time because once you put your money on it… hey.

Anita:
That is so true. You know you buy… I don’t know if you’ve ever purchased Groupons, but you buy the Groupon, it’s like, Oh, I don’t really feel like going, but wait I’ve already spent my money. Let me go ahead and go, so that’s a good thing.

Dr. Rennes:
One thing about Groupon is sometimes I think you have 12 months or a whole year to redeem it sometimes. Buy the Groupon, but then also make the appointment. Don’t let it just sit in your account.

Anita:
Right, and you know some sometimes with Groupon too, and Groupon if you’re listening, you need to pay me! You’ll buy a Groupon for let’s just say eyelashes, right? It’s for three… you get a pair of mink eyelashes and they get to fills, but that portion of it, that pricing will end in three months, but the value that you purchase for the Groupon will continue. Okay, so you’ll still have that value there to spend somewhere else, but if you don’t book that appointment within three months, then you have to try to find another one. So like you said, buy it and book it! That’s another t-shirt. Buy it, and book it! Right? Okay, so I’m definitely gonna run out and check out your Etsy store because T-shirts are just the thing these days, right? Working from home is… I’m a hybrid so working from home, T-shirts are the everyday outfit and then I’ll throw on the company fleece on top of it if my T-shirt is too Black for work, and I’m using air quotes. I have generic ones. I put on my work fleece to cover those you know, I love t-shirts.

Dr. Rennes:
I have to create a line for you at home. Work from home-ers.

Anita:
Safe For Work T-shirts! You know what, thank you so much. This was such a great time, but I knew it would be, right? And I’m hoping that you the listeners have enjoyed listening in on our conversation here. You know, we always keep it real 100% real and these conversations are the joy, you know. I was only doing them once a month, but I’m starting to do more because I like them a lot, right? Again, consistency. Yeah. Oh, speaking of consistency last year, during all of that drama, I told you I was having… we  managed to get the website done in three months, and we managed to launch the podcast at the same time. So I am so proud of myself. Thank you.

Dr. Rennes:
That’s such a great accomplishment. I know it’s hard. It’s not easy.

Anita:
I know it’s hard. If it wasn’t for Meghan, girl, this podcast would probably have four episodes because all that goes on behind the scenes to get it, you know, to produce it and to get rid of all the, you know, all the craziness and the dog barking, and all that good stuff. That’s all on Meghan. So Meghan knows I love her though.

Dr. Rennes:
Thank you, Meghan!

Anita:
Okay, so tell everybody where they can find you. Of course, we’re gonna have all of your links to everything that you share with us, we’re going to have those on the show notes page. So everyone, feel free to go there and check it out. But right now for those that are listening, let everybody know how they can reach out and get in touch with you.

Dr. Rennes:
So, of course, come join the fun over at Instagram; come find me at @Dr.Rennes, and you find all my information through Instagram, and come join the fun! We could dance and cry and just have a good old time.

Anita:
Amazing; so on Instagram, they can find a link to reach out to you for one on one?

Dr. Rennes:
One on one, my website, freebies, affiliates, all the goods everything is everything.

Anita:
Well, thank you so much again, and I definitely would love to have you back later this year if that’s okay with you.

Dr. Rennes:
Of course. Of course. Thank you. Thank you for having me.

Anita:
You’re welcome! All right, everyone. Until next time!

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Candid Conversations with Phenomenal Executive Women: Dr. Rennes Toussaint

PODCAST EPISODE № 48

Candid Conversations with Phenomenal Executive Women: Dr. Rennes Toussaint

by Anita Charlot

Listen to Candid Conversations with Phenomenal Executive Women: Dr. Rennes Toussaint:

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PODCAST EPISODE № 48

Candid Conversations with Phenomenal Executive Women: Dr. Rennes Toussaint

by Anita Charlot

Listen to Candid Conversations with Phenomenal Executive Women: Dr. Rennes Toussaint:

What You Learn:

Featured on the Show:

Episode Transcript

Enjoy the Show?

IF YOU LIKE IT, SHARE IT

Get the free video training..."Can He Handle Your Grind?"

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Get the free video training...
"Can He Handle Your Grind?"