PODCAST EPISODE № 52

Candid Conversations with Phenomenal Executive Women: Afya Evans

by Anita Charlot

Listen to Candid Conversations with Phenomenal Executive Women: Afya Evans:

Hello, beautiful listeners! This week on the pod, we are having a candid conversation with the phenomenal Afya Evans.

Afya Evans is the Owner and CEO of AFYA Enterprises, LLC and The AFYA Spot -Executive Coaching and Style Studio. As an Executive Coach and Stylist, Afya curates highly engaging presentations, portfolios, brand images, and wardrobe styles for professionals toward MAXIMUM IMPACT in their industry.

She doesn’t just put outfits together; she puts YOU together.

Afya’s executive packages help clients command every physical, virtual, or ideological space they step into. From resumes to roundtables to the red carpet, Afya has you covered. Also known as the “The Olivia Pope of Executive Presence,” Afya is a strategist and political analyst turned modern modiste. She speaks on the importance of confidence and is the author of Does This Mindset Make Me Look Fat?: A No-nonsense Guide to Reclaiming Your Health, Wealth & Most Fabulous Self.”

Afya has studied under world-renowned stylists and image experts. She skillfully applies cross-cultural communication, color theory, executive presence, and fashion psychology principles to her work. She earned a Post-Graduate Certificate in Executive Leadership from Cornell University and has a Master’s degree in International Relations from Troy University Afya describes herself as a God girl, a certified shoe addict, and an avid traveler. Her goal and business mantra are to help her clients “Turn Heads, Blow Minds, and Change Lives.” Every. Single. Time.

What You Learn:

The difference between fashion, style, and image
How style and the psychology behind it have changed during the pandemic
The importance of knowing yourself, your color palette, and using that knowledge cultivating your personal style
All about The AFYA Spot and what services she offers as an Executive Coach

Featured on the Show:

For more information or to invite Afya to speak, follow this link and click ‘Contact Afya’
Follow this link and receive 20% off select services from The Afya Spot!
Book a 30-minute consultation with Afya
Take Afya’s quiz to determine your personal style type
Follow Afya on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn
Learn more about how you can work directly with Anita
Love the show? Leave a review of the show on Apple Podcasts (click the link to find out how).
Follow me on Instagram!
Find me on Facebook!

Episode Transcript

Coach Anita Charlot:
Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the next episode of candid conversations with phenomenal women. Tonight’s guest is Afya Evans. Girl, let me tell you, Afya is the truth. We’ve known each other for, what about three, four years now? I think 2018. Was it before 2018?

Afya Evans:
It was 2018!

Anita:
Okay, yeah. So it’s been a while and you know that you know, all of the phenomenal women that are on the show, I know them personally, or I have worked with them, or I have worked alongside of them. No one here is a stranger. Otherwise, why would they be here? Right? This is about phenomenal women, and in order for me to know that you’re a phenomenal woman, I have to know you. And so I’m, you know, I will go on and on and on, as you know, during these conversations about where I know people from and how we met and all of that good stuff. But I’m gonna jump right in and I’m going to allow Aafia to tell you about her brilliance, what she does, who she is, how long she’s been doing these things, and then we’ll get right into the questions because I know you’re interested. We all are! Alfia, welcome.

Afya:
Thank you so much, Anita. Thank you so much. First of all, let me just say how much I love you and this podcast. Like I’m so honored to be here. I appreciate all that you’re doing. Yes, we have known each other for quite a while, and so it is an extra special treat for me to be here. And thank you. Thank you for the opportunity to converse with your audience.

Anita:
You are so welcome. So tell them… tell the audience all about Afya Evans.

Afya:
Okay, well, first of all, Afya, my name, it means health, and health in Swahili and in Arabic. And so for me, that really has been a cornerstone of my business and everything that I’m trying to do with my styling. And so I am the CEO and the founder of AFYA enterprises, and the AFYA Spot – Executive Coaching and Style Studio. And what I do there essentially is to help high-profile and public-facing women and other professionals to curate professional styles, presentations, portfolios, and the like, for maximum impact in their industry. Right? And you know me, my business mantra is for everyone that I work with, to turn heads, blow minds and change lives, right? Like I work with them specifically, to break them out of old molds so that they can be their absolute best selves in whatever space they find themselves, whether it’s physical, virtual, or an ideological space, they absolutely shine, and so that’s what I do.

Anita:
That is amazing. You are, definitely… I am looking at your one page, and I’m gonna put this out there, girl. On this one page, it says the Olivia Pope of Executive Presence. I am so in love with that, that just speaks volumes to who you are and what you do. And I really think that it’s appropriate.

Afya:
Well, listen, I mean, so what a lot of people don’t know about me is that before I started coaching and before I started styling, I worked for many, many years in the government as an intelligence analyst and so that, you know, that kind of government, the high levels person that the lead character in Scandal Olivia Pope had, I kind of identified with it. So she was kind of this fierce warrior lady by day, and then kind of a beautiful Belle of the ball at night. And so for me, that’s kind of the authentic kind of left-wing right-brain person that I am.

Anita:
I absolutely love that, that, that jumped out to me that jumped out of the page. To me, I was like, Okay, we have to mention this. We’re gonna share, as you guys will see in the show notes, you’ll have Afya’s bio, but this was something that I just had to call out because it absolutely jumped off the page when I read it. So, Afya, now that everybody knows who you are and what you do, I have several questions for you. And while I know that you handle a lot of different things in terms of executive presence today, I’d like for us to focus on your styling and the way that you work with your clients to help style them for, you know, whatever events or large meetings or speaking engagements that they have to go to. So my first question for you is, what image or style issues do your clients struggle with most, and how exactly do you help?

Afya:
Thank you for that, Anita. Yeah, so you know, the women that I work with, mostly, and I do work with men too, but the women that I work with mostly are professionals, they’re high level, they’re high profile, and oftentimes public-facing, so for them, time, right, they just do not have the time to put together these outfits. They don’t have the time to shop, they just don’t have the time. And so for them, they need someone to come in to help them to relieve what I call cognitive overhead, right? They need somebody to do this for them so that they can take that time and that brain space to do the things they need to do. So I would say time, body confidence. I mean, a lot of… even some of the most high-powered women, you’d be surprised at how many of them are really not very confident in their bodies. And so that’s part of what I do when I’m working and styling them because at the end of the day, if you don’t carry off that outfit that you’re wearing, it’s not going to matter. And if you, in your mind, don’t think you look good, you don’t feel like you look good, then you can have the best outfit on in the world, and it’s not going to convey. So time, for body confidence, and then I think the last thing is, you know, essentially knowing how to put together outfits and clothes that are good for them and make them wow. Right? So those would be the top three things that they come to me for.

Anita:
Oh, that’s amazing because as, you know, as a woman in her mid-50s, right? Like my body is not… and you guys know that I’m always giving you an insight into my life, I tell you all my business, so tonight will not be any different. Prepare yourselves. So being a woman in her mid-50s, who is postmenopausal and my body type has changed. What used to… I think what used to look good doesn’t look good or as good as it used to. There is a beautiful muffin top that has presented itself, you know, along with it. Thank goodness, I don’t have the bat wings yet, but if I don’t work hard to keep them at bay, they will be there for women whose bodies are changing. And you know, they’re struggling with trying to figure out if they should wear the sleeveless shirts or if they should wear the dress without the blazer to cover up, you know, their midsection, their muffin top, or even that cute little pooch that they develop, you know, later on in life. What advice would you give to them? How would you help them work through that?

Afya:
Well, thank you for that. Listen, I have the muffin tops, the bat wings, and the pooch, okay. So, absolutely identify. But I think the key to all of it is, listen… aging and body changes are part of life. Right? And I think some level society has told us that, you know, beauty standards are this particular thing often younger, thinner. In some cases, like there are so many things that are held up as the standard for beauty and held about this as the standard for what we should be striving for. But the bottom line is no, we have to love who we are, where we are, what stage of life we are in it when you are 50 or 55, and, by the way, 50 or 55, you are not going to look like you are 25 or 30 or even 45. Right? We have to understand it’s unrealistic to want or try to look like that because someone else says that you should look like that. Then if you want to look like that because that’s what you want to do, then, you know, by all means, go ahead and do what you need to do. But you have to embrace the bodies that we’re in and I, listen, I know that it’s easier said than done. I know people are like, oh, yeah, I don’t want to hear that. I want to look like I’m 25, but the reality is if you don’t love yourself and you don’t love your body parts, and you don’t get in touch with that, you can look like that and still not feel confident.

Anita:
That was good, right? Girl? You said a word. You said a word.

Afya:
You know this about me, I lost a good 85 pounds in 2014. And, you know, I thought, Okay, now I’ve lost all this weight. Yes. Great. I’m going to be just out there. Right? Well, I wasn’t. I was not as confident as I thought it was going to be. It didn’t change necessarily how I felt about myself. Why? Because I was the same person on the inside. And just because my outside changed, I still had the insecurities, I still had to deal with them. So I had to go from doing the work to loving the body that I was in. The reason that I’m saying this is because if you… when we take efforts to minimize, cover-up, you know, and otherwise, you know, make smaller our body parts, what we’re subconsciously saying to ourselves is I don’t like it. I don’t like you, you need to be covered, you need to be changed, you need to be made different instead of accentuating ourselves in the parts that we’d like. So I am not a big fan of wearing blazers to cover the arms or anything like that, or, you know. Now, there’s a difference, because I am an advocate for shapewear. People say, Well, isn’t that a contradiction? No. Because for the shapewear, it’s making the outfits that you are wearing look better on you. It’s not really making you look better. There’s a smoothing element to it. When people see you, they’re not distracted by bumps, rolls, wrinkles even that can be caused if your outfit isn’t smoothed out from the inside out.

Anita:
And I used to be one of those people. I used to hate shapewear. I was like, I’m never wearing that.

Afya:
Everybody who loves it loves it. Right?

Anita:
You know, like, I’m not doing that. I’m never wearing that. And then remember when we did the event together in Vegas, and I had on that black lace jumpsuit. I remember, and I loved that jumpsuit, and I put the jumpsuit on and I just thought I was everything, honey. I just knew I was everything. And when I looked back on those photos, I was like girl, why didn’t your tail put on some shapewear? Because my little muffin top was just having a field day. And in every picture… I wanted a couple of the pictures I have put cross my arms, you know, across my not-so-small chest. And then it just looked like that pushed the muffin top down even more. So even though the jumpsuit, the lace jumpsuit was fire, it was fire plus muffin top. And I was like, all I needed to do was put on one little piece of shapewear and that will smooth everything out. It would not have given me a flat stomach, but I wouldn’t have had that roll right at the bottom of my stomach. I was so irritated.

Afya:
Well listen, what I don’t want you to do though is to beat yourself up about that or to be as concerned about it because frankly, probably most people didn’t notice it as much as you noticed it, right? But at the same time, you’re right, you make a good point. Had you had on the shapewear it would have just given you the more of a smoothing effect. And I don’t remember if you were speaking at that particular…

Anita:
I was.

Afya:
You were! So when you’re speaking, what you don’t want people doing is focusing on muffin tops or rolls or anything else that would take away from whatever it is that you’re trying to say. You want them to be focused on you.

Anita:
Yes, yes, that is so… girl. That’s so good. That is so good. Oh my goodness, I hope you guys are taking notes. And if you don’t want to write down the notes, don’t worry about it. Just head on over to the show notes page and download the notes. You can read them there directly, you can read the transcript, or I also have, you know, the ability for you to download the show notes so you’ll get everything that we’re talking about. And then you can highlight what you want. You’ll get Afya’s information. You can follow up with her if you have any questions. This is good stuff. Okay, so let me get to the next question. So tell me, you know, now that we’re in the virtual space or the hybrid space now that we’re going back into the office, how has the psychology of style changed in the virtual space?

Afya:
Right. Well, I think prior to kind of COVID, and everybody having to go into the virtual space for meetings and conferences, and you know, all manner of things, I think we felt like the virtual space was kind of this more casual type space. Maybe we might dress it up a little bit more, but we’re still thinking in our minds, Yeah, but this is a camera. Right? We’re not in person, they’re not gonna see anything. And I think what has changed is we understand, you know, both psychologically and scientifically, that is just not true. Right? Like, especially since the camera can pick up things that our natural eye does not, and so something as simple as whether you have moisturized your face or not. Here’s my bed. Nobody can tell that. Oh, but they can. Because they can see your pores are going to be more prounounced than they are if someone were to look at you with the natural eye. And so you say, well, but are they sitting there caring about my pores? No. But subconsciously, we all do this. When we encounter someone, whether virtually or in person, we immediately make a judgment about what we think about them. And kind of from a biological point of view, we need to know, are they dangerous? Are they healthy, right? They may be like, do I want to engage with this person? Are they an asset to me? Do they look like if I shook their hand and got to know them, they might help me? People make these kinds of determinations within seconds. Well, if your face is ashen, what it says to everyone else is, oh, she doesn’t feel well. She’s not healthy, or she’s sad even. She doesn’t take care of herself in some way. And that may not be the case at all. Those are the type of cues that people will take from seeing you with, you know, an ashey face or not moisturized, right, you know, or any other hygienic thing. So think about how we show up in the virtual space.

Anita:
You know, I remember in the beginning, right, in the beginning of working from home, and when people were getting used to being on camera, you would see kids running around in the background. Everybody knows Lyzah Minnelli. You know for those of you who don’t know, Lyzah Minnelli is my Yorkie, my 14-year-old Yorkie. Everybody knows Lyzah, they know when she’s snoring. So you get a little bit more. Things were a little bit more relaxed, and so you would show up and I work in in the IT space in my corporate job. So for it, they’re pretty casual all the time anyway. So you would show up, you know, I would show up at work and everybody had on either sweatshirts, we were we were rocking T-shirts with smart sayings on them. Some people had on baseball caps, it was really casual for the IT space. But thinking about when I was still with my previous employer, that was a very corporate very structured suit and tie, women in the blue and gray and black only environment, and then you would see because everything was shut down, people weren’t able to go and get their hair colored. So now you see everybody who has gray hairs, you see, you know, you see everybody who’s nails are normally together. They didn’t know how to do it themselves, so now everybody has, you know, there’s some chipped polish. There’s some of this and that, so at the beginning of it, it was expected, and it was forgiven. But now that we’re back in the hybrid space, I’m listening to you ,and I think I made that switch without even realizing that I made the switch because I would be dressed from the waist up because I knew I was just going to be on camera. You know, but there will be days when if I knew I didn’t have meetings with business partners, and I just have meetings with an internal IT, I wouldn’t even worry about it. It will be a t-shirt or a t-shirt and a sweatshirt. But what we do have, thank goodness, is we have fleece. Work fleece, and so even for those meetings that would pop up, I would have on a t-shirt, I would have on a sweatshirt. I will take the sweatshirt off. I will put the fleece on. Right, so then it was like I was in uniform. But pay attention to what you’re wearing, I never thought about the Ashen skin and the psychology behind that and what people would think. Never thought about that. That’s interesting. You bring up some very good points. I never would have thought about that.

Afya:
And it happens subconsciously, and it happens very quickly. Right. So, you know, there is kind of this debate going on about how you know how much we should really put into kind of our virtual look. But for me, it really is focused on my client. And what I say to them is, you are presenting in this space, and you always want to present your absolute best. So you were saying I was looking good from the bottom, you know, from the waist stuff. But your brain knows that you’re not looking good from the bottom down. You can’t fool it, and so that is how you’re going to that’s going to seep into how you’re showing up whether you know it or not. So I just encourage people to show up the same way that you would show up if you were going somewhere or, you know, close to it, like, not completely, but you understand what I’m saying? Like, don’t cut those corners mentally, because your mind knows, and that’s how you’re going to show up.

Anita:
Girl, you just said a whole word. You just said a whole word. I hope you are listening. I mean, I hope you guys are really listening, and paying attention. Because have you… this is a question that I have for the listeners. Have you ever thought about there being a psychology of style changing in the virtual space? I know we had, you know, casual in the beginning. But did you realize? I didn’t realize that being dressed from the waist up, you know, dressed appropriately put it that way, from the waist up, that my brain would identify that I was not dressed properly from the waist down? And now that you mentioned that, since I started going back into the office, when I’m getting dressed for the day, I get dressed for the day as though I’m going into the office. And it does make a difference. 
Afya:
I love that.

Anita:
It really does make a difference, but I never would have put that together, right. And it was just something that happened naturally. So I’m glad that we’re having this level of conversation to just be open and honest with listeners so that they are aware of it as well. And correct me if I’m wrong, but if you’re already insecure, maybe you don’t feel like you’re being respected in your position, maybe you feel like all eyes are on you and people are waiting for you to make a mistake. Sounds to me like if you’re not showing up properly dressed in the virtual space that is going to come through in the way that you present yourself in the meeting. Would you say that’s true?

Afya:
That’s absolutely right, Anita. I mean, you hit it right on the head. And the reality is that may actually be hindering the in-person communications too if you’re not showing up in a workspace as your best self, they may be feeding off of that, or that may be feeding, you know, biases that they may have. Right? And then it’s a vicious cycle.

Anita:
So I got a confession to make. And I’m not gonna say a company name because you know, there are definitely people that I worked with. They’ll know which company I’m talking about because they follow the podcast, and they follow me on LinkedIn. But in this particular job, while I was more than capable of handling a higher position, I had taken a lower position in order to complete my degree. I didn’t want to have that much responsibility and not be able to focus. So when I completed the degree, I was like, okay, you know, now I’m ready. I’m ready for more responsibility. I was already doing the responsibility of the job, but what I wasn’t doing is I wasn’t dressing the part. Right? When I look back on some of the things that I wore to work, just because, you know, it was a casual environment, like a kind of business casual environment. And I look back and I think about some of the things that I wore to work, girl… No wonder. No wonder! I’m like, Oh, my God, I’m like, did I really wear that to work? Did I really wear that to the office and then think I was going to be taken seriously? It didn’t matter that I was doing the work of the higher position, but the presentation, my presentation was probably coming across as someone who was not really mature enough or ready to handle that level of responsibility, even though I thought it was in my head. So you are making me really think about some things.

Afya:
Well, I think we probably all have that experience of doing that looking back and saying what in the world? You know, the good thing is that now we kind of have the tools, we kind of know more about the psychology, and now we can kind of arm ourselves with that, like knowing who we are, what we’re about, where we’re trying to go, and then you know, addressing ourselves accordingly.
Anita:
One of the things that’s really important to me, and I think it’s important to a lot of Black women now, right? I’m in that space in my life where I am unapologetically Black. And with that comes, you know, instead of muting my style and not doing certain things, not going back to the way things were that previous company because that was just, that was just so ridiculous. But just thinking about, like, the colors, the different color schemes. We, as Black women, we look beautiful in all colors, you know, why should we not wear yellow? Why should we not wear a fuchsia? Why should we not wear lime green? You know, those sorts of things. So as I’m thinking about that, and I’m thinking about being unapologetically Black and not, and not apologizing for the things that I like, what would you say, you know, as a stylist, as someone that helps executive women and women show up as their most powerful selves, what would you say the difference is between image and style and fashion? And why should we care?

Afya:
Well, first of all, as an African American woman, I absolutely can identify with wanting to show up in the space as your authentic self. You know, we are beautiful, we come in all shapes and sizes, colors, hair textures, and so the way that we can show up, you know, our myriad. So I love that. One of the things I would say though, is, and you made this point, you said we looked good in all colors, and what I want your listeners to understand is we all have an inherent color scheme that is unique to us. My color scheme may not accommodate certain shades of yellow. And another woman the same complexion, could have totally different color palettes. And so it’s important for you too, if you want to maximize your look, and if you want to absolutely step out in the colors that are going to really make you wow, then you really kind of have to do an analysis of your inherent color scheme. And then from there develop a palette, and then you can choose from that, and then any color from that palette is going to just… it’s just going to knock them out. Right, so I want people to understand that. Yes, you know, in theory, we want to be able to wear whatever color, but if you’re going for maximum wow and maximum look, and you want to be in the colors that are going to absolutely shine with your skin color, your inherent colors, you need to know what those colors are, right? You need to kind of do the analysis.

Anita:
And that’s something that you do with your clients. Right?

Afya:
Exactly. That’s one of the first things when I’m working with them is that I say, you know, we need to do a color analysis. That way once we have your color palette, once we know what colors are going to work well with you, resonate with you, then we can build a wardrobe or, you know, use the wardrobe that you have to put things together that really, really look good on your end. It isn’t just, okay, this dress is pretty! Right? It might be pretty, but is the dress looking pretty on you? Right? Or it might look pretty on you, but what another color dress that the same style looks the even better than part of your color palette, right? So that’s one of the things just kind of knowing yourself. And all that goes into your own personal style, and that’s what style is: taking your inherent self, your inherent colors, the inherent way that you want to show up, the things that you like, what you’re trying to convey, the looks that look good on you, and putting it all together. And when you walk into a space, what you bring to that, that is your style. Versus fashion. Fashion is can be trendy, it can go in and out. It’s time-bound. What’s fashionable today could be not fashionable next year. You know people say oh, that’s so, you know, 2022! So fashion is going to be linked to certain brands. It could be something that, okay, we see a celebrity that’s wearing something, now everybody’s wearing it. It really is time bound, and it is not necessarily timeless. You know, things come back. I mean, you know, how many times do bell-bottoms come back, right? In fashion, they go out and they come back in, but style does not go out. It doesn’t go out of style. Your style doesn’t go out of style. It is what it is. You can updat it, you may change how you want to present yourself, but it doesn’t have anything to do with what’s on the catwalk or what the latest trend is. An image, on the other hand, is taking your personal or professional style and saying, How do I want to present in any given space? I’m going to this board meeting, or I have an interview, or whatever? How do what do I want them to see my image? What do I want them to see and take away? Take your personal style, and what you expect that for them to see or, you know, knowing who your audience is, well, it’s going to be a boardroom full of executives, right? Who are you going to be? Well, you may not want to wear the wild outfit that you have in your closet. You may not want to wear the wildest hair-do that you have. That’s up to you to decide, but I encourage my clients to take a look at who it is that they’re going to be addressing who’s going to be at this conference, who’s going to be in the room, take your personal style, and then… I don’t want to say change it, but then, you know, mold it in such a way that it is appealing both to you as the presenter and the people that you’re going to be talking to so that they will be drawn to you, so that they can hear what you’re saying. So kind of help them get out of their own way by relating to them in some way through your style. Right? That makes sense?

Anita:
It does.

Afya:
Okay, so if they’ve all got on business suits so you wear a businesses suit. You can do that, but maybe in your color scheme, there is a, I don’t know, mustard yellow, and it’s in the proper season, you might want to wear a suit that’s mustard yellow or a dress. It can still be businesslike. Right? But it complements you and your color scheme at the same time. So it’s kind of like you want to do both when you’re presenting. Now, I do know some people and I do have some clients that say, you know, I don’t care. Right? I don’t care how, but I don’t encourage my clients to do that simply because your objective when you’re in front of this audience, is to get your point across. Doing anything, something that’s going to be distracting to them or off-putting, then are you really doing what you went there to do, which is to help them in some kind of way to serve them in some kind of way. So, you know, it’s a personal thing, you know, each person has to decide how they want to show up, you know! I know that’s a lot, but…

Anita:
I’m just like, what? I’m rubbing my eyebrows like, um, you know, this is the thing like, wow! I don’t know if that means for me, like, this is rubbing an eyebrow for me, it’s like, wow, this is stuff that I’ve never really considered. But this shows, you know, just the genius of who you are and the service that you provide. Right. So I’m gonna touch on something you and I’ve talked about before, especially since you know, you just told me the difference between image, style, and fashion and why we should care. And we talked a lot about color palettes and the fact that you help your clients to identify their color palette, the fact that you help them stand out and you know, give the impression that they want to give, and that you help them with their identifying the clothes, buying new clothes, or taking what they have in their closet, and you know, adding additional pieces or putting pieces together. All of this is fabulous because, honey, sometimes we just don’t… it’s just too overwhelming. We just grab what we know to be the thing that we’ve always gravitated towards, and being 100% honest with you, and you and I have talked about this, black is something that I always gravitate towards. It’s just my thing, and for me, and I know what you’re gonna say I know it. I know what… I’m putting my disclaimer out there. I’ve always worn black though even when there was less of me to love. Black has always been my favorite color. If you come to my house now, everything that I own pretty much is black, heather gray, or cream, like a totally neutral palette, and then every now and then I’ll add a statement piece of jewelry with a pop of color. Or if I get really bold, like I was out shopping with my husband, we’re about to go to Cabo the first week of July, and my husband picked this beautiful lime green dress for me. And I loved it. I was like, oh my god, that is so cute. But I can hear you in my head, Afya! You need to add some color! You need to add a pop of color. I was like, Fine, give me the dress, give me the dress. I grabbed the dress, and then I grabbed the yellow dress. This is so out of my character because I’m so used to wearing black, burgundy. I started out in the banking industry, and those banking colors have stayed with me. Right? So what are your thoughts on black, I can take it, I can take it! I can totally take it. Because I’m not the only one! There are people in my space now that also gravitate towards black, navy blue,
and gray.

Afya:
You absolutely are not the only one. I think, you know, at least once a quarter I speak with someone, and we have to have this conversation because they, you know, black is just it. First of all, black is readily available, we have to understand that most of the clothes that we wear are mass-produced. Manufacturers, clothing manufacturing started in like 1945. Okay, and then after that, hardly anybody got their clothes custommade. This is like, in my opinion, like the downfall because now it’s like the stores just create something, crank it out in however many sizes, and then we just buy it, whether it really really fits or not, whether it really, really is our, you know, goes with our color palette or not, we just buy it because that’s what’s there. And that’s what’s convenient. And black is one of those colors that they produce these items in. Black, white, navy, but maybe not really thinking about whether these items are going to match a person’s inherent color. So that’s why it’s so important for you to get your analysis done because what I can tell you is, if you’re staying in your home, in your office in just around you that these are some of the colors that you see, nine times out of ten that those colors will be in your palette. Right? Some version of black is likely to be a new palette because you like it so much. What it’s different is it may not be black, black. It may be charcoal, black. It may be a black that’s closer almost to gray even. And it depends on the person and your personal color scheme, your eyes, it just so many things go into developing your personal palette. And so what I would say is in that palette, you’ll get that one black, maybe, right? We don’t know, but you haven’t done your color analysis yet. We’ll get to that! You’ll have that black, but then you’ll have these many, many, many other colors, lights to dark, in between, from what you can pick from that are going to be absolutely fabulous on you, and then I would say pick some of those lighter colors on your palette when you’re ready to bring in a pop.

Anita:
Gotcha.

Afya:
I mean it just there are so many things that go into it. Like what contrast are you? Right? If you’re a low contrast person, if you’re gonna wear black, don’t wear black with white because black and white are very highly contrasted.

Anita:
The church uniform. The church choir uniform.

Afya:
Right? It’s not gonna look great on you if you are a low-contrast person, right? Black, maybe with some brown. You might think oh, black and brown. Yeah! Black and brown, black and heather gray together. That’s gonna look better on you. So many things that go into it, but yes, don’t… Don’t just let black be a default, is kind of what I have to say. That’s like because it’s easy. Don’t just turn to black because everybody else is wearing it. Kind of whether the black works really for you color-wise, and not just say, Well, I’ve always worn it as an excuse.

Anita:
Right. Well, I’m going to give you a view into what I wore to work today. So I wore a black cardigan, of course, but I wore like a shell dress that was… how do you say this? Is it rouched? Rouching on the side, whatever? Gathering. Yes, so it was a gathering on the side. But I love Paisley right. And so it’s burgundy, pink, lime green, cream, paisley print like scoop-neck, sleeveless, rouched dress, but I had the black cardigan over it. So I did the pop of color with the dress, and the dress does have black in it, and then I wore the black sweater, and I had on black sandals. So I was still in black, but I did consider adding the color, and normally, for whatever reason, I think it’s… I don’t know. Let me be honest, so I OD’ed on pink as a teenager. My mother had… I had pink, I had a canopy bed, if you remember those, oh my goodness, the canopy bed. Girl, I had the canopy bed, but it was a pink canopy cover. Everything on that bed was pink. Every single thing was pink. I had gray and pink tile flooring. I had a pink robe. I had pink slippers. I had pink curtains. I was like, Oh my god. So I became allergic. I’m using air quotes, but I became allergic to pink. But this dress has pink in it, and I was like you know what, I don’t really look bad and pink. I was just steering clear of it because I OD’ed on it, living in that pink canopy bedroom for years. But it wasn’t bad. I said to myself today, Afya would be proud of me, oh, she really would. She would be. I hear you in my head all the time, and as the listeners are listening, you know, and as you know, I tell all my business anyway. So you’re used to that, but if you listen to this, as you’re listening to this podcast, when you go to make a wardrobe selection, you’re going to hear Afya’s voice. You’re going to hear it because I hear it all the time. And instead of stressing about what to do, I need you to just reach out to Afya because as I mentioned, and after, you may want to just tell them a little bit more about this, but not only do you offer a service where you will find pieces for them, but you also go do like a closet review where you go through their closet with them. And it could be if you’re local, it could be in person or it could be virtual, and Afya will go through your closet with you and help you pick out those things. I haven’t done this yet because I know she’s gonna tell me to get rid of half my wardrobe, which is all black. But you know, that’s just my confession. But if you’re looking for a way to spruce up your life, your wardrobe, and your colors, definitely reach out to Afya because she offers these services. And we’re going to have links in the show notes to where you can. You can go to her page, identify what is best for you at this time, and even reach out and connect with her to ask specifically what you think you need at this time, and she will be totally willing to answer your questions. Afya, I know we’re having a good time. I would like to ask you a few more questions. If you have time to do that. Would that be okay?

Afya:
Absolutely. And before we get to that, can I just say, I want your listeners to know that you know, when they come to me it is a safe space. I don’t want them to feel like, you know, I’m the Grim Reaper. I’m gonna make throw out their clothes, it’s gonna be terrible. I’m gonna feel bad. No, absolutely not. It’s not. There’s no judgment. It’s a space. It’s a safe space. And my goal is for you to feel fabulous about yourself and to present from that place of fabulosity. Yes, please reach out to me.

Anita:
Yes. And when I said you’re gonna hear her in your head, it’s not like, Don’t wear that, you know, you shouldn’t wear… that’s not what I hear. But I had a session with her where she shared with me, you know, we talked about the color scheme, we talked about the color palette. We talked about the color black, and she asked me a couple of really good questions about black and she said, Well, there’s nothing wrong with black if… and Afya, you jump in if you need to, but I remember you saying that black was my favorite color because I liked black. That’s one thing, but if I was wearing black to hide body parts, you know, or things that I didn’t like about my body or because of things I was trying to cover up, that was something different.

Afya:
Yes. A lot of people think that way. So they wear black because they believe it has a slimming effect. Right? And it can, but the issue with that is then that affects your confidence and your body confidence and body acceptance, in which case that it’s also going to come through and exude in your presentation. Right? It’s more important for you to essentially work to not have to wear black to try to cover the thing that you think we need covering, and just wear different colors, right? That to me is the better way to go than to wear the black covered up and then think, Okay, phew, nobody saw. Right? But like you said, if black is your favorite color, my only suggestion would be to have your color analysis just to make sure that you are wearing the shade of black that’s going to work best with you and your inherent colors. You know, just to break it up a little bit. Because especially if you are a professional who does a lot of public speaking, and you’re out there, you’re using those photos for your marketing, you know, unless wearing black is part of your brand. Right? Like, you know, your brand colors or you know, black is the new whatever, like that’s your theme or something, just bring in some more colors, just to liven it up so that your viewers are the people that are coming in contact with your marketing will be drawn to it.

Anita:
And that was very helpful for me, right? Because it made me question, why am I wearing black? Now, of course, everybody says, as you stated, if you were black and makes you look skinnier or it hides, you know, black, you can usually hide the rolls. This is what I’ve heard, you can hide the rolls in black if you wear this or that. But wearing black, as opposed to working with someone like Afya who can help you identify what the underlying reasons are for you picking that color, and then help you come to a point where you feel more comfortable in your body. Those are two separate things, right? So working with someone like Afya, who’s going to help you identify the psychological reasons why you gravitate towards a certain color, who’s going to help you to feel more comfortable in the style that you have and presenting or projecting the image that you want to, this is perfect for women like us! Women that are in executive positions, women that are in positions of power, and you don’t even have to be in a corporate space, right? As she mentioned, you could be a speaker, you could be a mom going to a PTA meeting and you want to present a certain way. It doesn’t matter. And who doesn’t like to have someone? Have an image consultant, have, you know, someone that’s going to help you present your best at all times, no matter what you’re wearing? That’s what Afya does. That is her genius. That is her zone of genius. That’s not my area. I can tell you, you know, I have my area of genius, but I know when there’s something that I want to do, or if there’s an outfit that I want to wear, if there’s a speaking engagement that I want to go to, Afya is the person. I have a group of women, we’re in a mastermind, and we all go to Afya to help us present in the way that we want to, to our to the public and to our potential clients. So if this is something that you’re looking for, Afya is definitely the person. Two more questions, and then we’re going to wrap up here. Is there anything a woman of power should stop wearing after age 40, 50, or 60?

Afya:
You know, essentially, I think women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s, and all women, frankly, should wear that’s going to resonate with them, with their inherent self, with their inherent colors, their inherent features, their personality, and what it is that they’re trying to achieve, rather than wearing what society says they should wear, wearing what your friends and family think you should wear. I’m going to leave the wearing something that your spouse thinks you should wear and what he should wear – I’ll leave that to you, Anita. That’s your wheelhouse, but you know, at the end of the day, if it’s something that makes you uncomfortable, and you don’t feel safe, then you know, don’t wear it. Right? You’re what is going to make you feel fabulous. Wear what is going to accentuate your best features regardless of your age. I follow a stylist. She’s got to be 80-something years old. Fabulous. She literally wrote the book, you know, on style, and I’ve trained under her. And I mean, she’s got this fabulous haircut, and she’s always got on the cutest outfit. And now some people might say, well, you’re 80! Why should you look like that? She’s like, why shouldn’t I?

Anita:
Yes. So amazing. So I was going to ask you a final question. I usually typically ask this question. Let me be honest, I try to remember to ask this question, but I think you’ve already covered it. And the question was, what advice would you give an executive woman on how to be happy with her wardrobe, in and outside of the office but I think you’ve covered that. I don’t need to ask that question again, unless there are like specific things that you want women to walk away with at the end of our episode, but the things that you’ve shared, and the advice that you’ve given, and the guidance that you’ve given has definitely made it possible for women to be happy with their wardrobes, both in and outside of the office, on and off camera. So is there anything additional that you would like to add?

Afya:
Well, yes, Anita, thank you. I think there are a couple of things, I think the first thing is essentially, you kind of have to know who you are first. Know who you are, know what you like, know how you want to present, know what you don’t want to tolerate. And like all of that stuff, you got to have to know that. And then, you know, knowing your personal colors and things like that, then from there, you can kind of craft your look. And when you do that, the way you will feel when you’re showing up, that’s where that happiness can reside. Right? Because you know, right? And then the second thing I would say, and I say this to all my clients, and when I’m speaking to larger audiences, you know, wear the clothes, don’t let the clothes wear you. Because a lot of times we use clothing to cover or mask other things that are going on in our lives. And what we end up doing is saying, Oh my God, that outfit is so cute. That dress is so cute. Yes, but are you a mannequin? Are you a model for you know, for Ralph Lauren? Maybe you are a model for Ralph Lauren, but if you aren’t, then don’t look at clothes. So that you can just be the person carrying around the clothes, right? Your clothes are a reflection of what you want them to be and what you’re trying to say. So wear the clothes, and don’t let the clothes wear you.

Anita:
Wow. That was good. Thank you so much. Afya, thank you for your wisdom, thank you for your gifts, for sharing them with our listeners. Thank you for your patience as I coughed up a lung over here. I really, really, really appreciate it. I’m so excited. I’m so excited for the listeners to experience this episode. And listen, you guys know, head on over to the show notes, head-on whatever platform you’re streaming from, you will find the show notes, you will find the link. If you need to get you to want to go through my website, just go to AnitaCharlot.com/Podcast. All the podcast archive episodes are there. But if you please tell everybody how they can connect with you, and where to find you on social media.

Afya:
Well, they can find me on all the social media, my website, I think you’re gonna have all the information on my website. I’m on Instagram, and on Facebook, and LinkedIn. And I would love to hear from everyone. I appreciate you having me on here. I needed this podcast, the Happy Executive Woman™ has been a blessing to me. I’ve listened to your episodes, there have been times when your show has had exactly what I needed, you know, physically, emotionally. It’s just a fabulous show. You’re just a fabulous woman, and I just thank you for having me on. Thank
you.

Anita:
Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. I love you, girl. You know what I’m gonna do, I want everybody to experience your interview with Alycia this month during the Breakout Summit. So we’re going to put that link in the show notes as well. You guys don’t want to miss that episode either. If you think you got a ton of nuggets to walk away with from this one, you definitely don’t want to miss that one. So I’ll make sure that Meghan includes that link in the show notes as well. Thank you again, I’m sending you tons of hugs. Afya, I love you. I can’t wait to see you in September. And with that, thank you to all the listeners! Please like, subscribe, and share. You can train a carrier pigeon to send the message. Whatever it is you want to do. I appreciate you, and if you didn’t listen to the episode a couple of weeks ago, we hit 50 episodes! So this will be probably number 53 or 54, but we have reached 50 episodes! Can you believe that? And in case you don’t follow me on social media, first of all shame on you, and second, the show is in the top 10% of podcasts globally out of over 2,000,800 and something 1000 podcasts. That would not have been possible if it wasn’t for loyal listeners like you, Afya, and others. I so appreciate you, and you guys keep me… you keep me honest. And you inspire me to give more, to do more, and to be more than who I am today. So for that, I love you, and I’m sending tons of hugs.

Afya:
I love you back. Congratulations!

Anita:
Thank you. All right, everyone. Until the next episode, bye!