PODCAST EPISODE № 35

A Return to Episode 4: How To Choose The “Right One”

by Anita Charlot

Listen to A Return to Episode 4: How To Choose The “Right One”:

Are you one of those women that have been trained to believe that the man in your life needs to match you in every way possible? Religion, education, background, financial status, industry, where you attended college, kids/no kids?

These are all great, but they do not necessarily have to match. In my coaching experience, these preconceived notions keep women single or married to the wrong man for the sake of following an outdated script.

Who says that he has to match your every demographic? Society, family, parents, religious organization, sorority, your “crew?” How many women do you know that have followed this script and are happy? How many are miserable? How many complain that their husbands just don’t “get them,” “see them,” or “know who they really are?”

Join me on the podcast this week as I share why following this outdated relationship script can and will keep you alone or stuck in a situation that seems to be a complication instead of a compliment in your life and what you can do about it.

Have you taken my free video training, “Can He Handle Your Grind?” Girl, what are you waiting for? It is not just for single women; it’s also for women already in a relationship or married. Click here to access the training. Once inside, you will understand why you can’t seem to attract the right one, how you woke up one day and realized you married the wrong one and what you can do about it.

What You Learn:

Why being 100% similar to your partner can be a detriment to the relationship.
How to find what you want through self-reflection and assessment.
How to create a day in the life of your purrfectly authentic relationship.
To attract what you really desire in a partner or spouse!

Featured on the Show:

Take the free video training Can He Handle Your Grind? and learn more about your relationship habits than you thought possible in an hour!
How to Date Successfully as a Professional Woman, 10 Tip Download Signature Course
Learn more about how you can work directly with Anita
Love the show? Leave a review of the show in Apple Podcasts (click the link to find out how).
Follow me on Instagram!
Find me on Facebook!

Episode Transcript

Hi there beautiful, and welcome to today’s podcast. If you’ve been binging on this podcast, good to see you again. If this is your first time, welcome, and I hope you decide not only to stick around but also to go back and listen to those episodes you missed.

Working with executive women on purpose, just like you, I see over and over again how women give up on happiness to fit into a mold that someone else created for them. By not knowing exactly what you want, what it looks, sounds, and “feels like,” you are bound to repeat the same (ineffective) relationship practices as before.  This will lead you down the path of more unsuccessful relationships. How does this happen?

Take a walk with me back to a time before you started seriously dating. You’ve heard the comments from the women in your life about what relationships should look like, the type of man you should be with, the kind of car he should drive, the sacrifices you have to make in order to have love, etc., etc. There is a possibility that this information is biased and based on the relationship experiences that the women sharing this advice with you have had. If you’re not careful, it will become your reality.

Women just like you are suffering having followed this advice. Dating for financial status, education level, the right neighborhood, political affiliation, matching resumes, and the same industry sounds like a great idea. For some women, attempting to follow these rules prevents them from having the relationship that feeds their spirit.

I remember when I was going through the process of identifying the type of relationship I wanted. I used a technique that I share in my Can He Handle Your Grind training and came up with several things that I thought would make me happy. From my 3-lists I created, I had written that I wanted to date a Ph.D. I didn’t care what the Ph.D. was in, I wanted to experience that level of intellectual stimulation, or so I thought.

I discovered that this particular Ph.D. was so focused on intellectual pursuits that they were never fully present with me. They spent a great deal of time in their head. Having gotten that out of my system, I realized that the Ph.D. type wasn’t for me, or at least this one wasn’t.

Next, I moved on to someone that was just as ambitious as I was. Great idea, right? Well, because I was already a single mom with a full-time job and starting a business, I rarely had a consistent schedule. Since we were both swamped, our schedules seldom connected, so that didn’t work out either.

If there is one thing you will learn about me, I am not a quitter. If a dating situation didn’t work, after giving myself time to heal, I kept trying. Crossing off personality traits and accomplishments as I plowed through my list. What was I missing? Why couldn’t I get this right?

In my book The  5 Phases of Dating ~ The Grown-Ass Woman’s Guide to Attracting and Maintaining Authentic Relationships), If I’m keeping it real, I had to remove the warm and fuzzies. Once I did that, it became clear that an essential piece of the relationship puzzle was missing: the relationship’s vision.

I needed to be clear on what I wanted it to look like on a weekend or a workday; how I wanted to be talked to, “handled,” cared for, supported, nurtured, touched, kissed, etc. You name it, creating the vision of what I call “The Day in the Life of Your Purrfectly Authentic Relationship” was the only way to get clarity and attract exactly what I wanted.

So I sat down, began to use the tools I provided in my book for other women, and followed the instructions for myself. Within a short amount of time, I met my now-husband. Sounds too easy or too good to be true, you’re right. This was not easy; it was hard as hell and required me to face some ugly truths about myself, my behavior, and how I participated in many heartaches that I had experienced.

I had first to acknowledge that I had been going about things all wrong, then I had to identify and unlearn lousy relationship habits, all while silently crying myself to sleep at night. At one point, I felt as if it was my destiny to be the teacher about love and not the recipient. I was what I would call an “equal opportunity dater” to keep my options open, yet, I was still unsuccessful.

Over the years, I have expanded the tools found in my book to an entire video course called “Can He Handle Your Grind?” I created this course with the executive woman, the busy woman, the woman on a mission and living a life of purpose in mind.

I know you, and if you are anything like I am, you are driven, super busy, passionate, a high-achiever (and maybe even an over-achiever) on a mission to pursue your personal and professional goals. As a result, you have very little time and patience for BS and “clingy partners” who need constant attention. You explained it to him in the beginning, but it’s like he wasn’t even listening.

You have no plans of slowing down any time soon and would love to have a partner that can match your drive (in his own way) and your need to chill (on occasion). And you’re wondering why did he say he was ok with it initially, only to complain later that you never have enough time for him.

You are frustrated, and you would prefer to be alone than to deal with this type of situation repeatedly. Don’t worry; I got you!

In this training, I will give 4 Steps to show you just how easy it is to attract the correct type of man into your life…and how to identify his dating potential in 10 Minutes or Less!!!

You don’t have to dim your light, stop your grind or choose between love and the success you want to have companionship in your life no matter WHAT you have experienced!

You no longer have time to waste on…
Unsuccessful relationships
Rearranging your schedule for another date that goes nowhere
Paying for a babysitter and wishing you had stayed at home
Attracting those that claim they love and appreciate your grind, hustle, or determination, but then turn right around and make comments that are meant to shame you into stopping your life to accommodate theirs.

I’m not saying that there is no room to compromise; however, if you don’t know what you really want, you will continue to attract men who lack the same clarity.

The goal should not be to attract someone that matches your hustle but someone that matches the “energy” of your ideal relationship. Want to know more? Head on over to the show notes and register for my free Can He Handle Your Grind? video training. Be sure to bookmark the training video page so that you can return to it as often as you like before it gets moved to the private vault.

Before you go, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for choosing to spend a portion of your limited time in your day with me in your ears and brain space. I know how valuable time is and how many tasks you could have checked off on your list instead and I would never take this for granted. I’m proud of you for stepping away from what “Has to get done” and doing what you wanted to do. That’s the first step in claiming/reclaiming your happiness, and I am here for it, honey!

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A Return to Episode 4: How To Choose The “Right One”

PODCAST EPISODE № 35

A Return to Episode 4: How To Choose The “Right One”

by Anita Charlot

Listen to A Return to Episode 4: How To Choose The “Right One”:

What You Learn:

Featured on the Show:

Episode Transcript

Enjoy the Show?

IF YOU LIKE IT, SHARE IT

Get the free video training...
"Can He Handle Your Grind?"

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PODCAST EPISODE № 35

A Return to Episode 4: How To Choose The “Right One”

by Anita Charlot

Listen to A Return to Episode 4: How To Choose The “Right One”:

What You Learn:

Featured on the Show:

Episode Transcript

Enjoy the Show?

IF YOU LIKE IT, SHARE IT

Get the free video training..."Can He Handle Your Grind?"

podcast

stay in touch

Get the free video training...
"Can He Handle Your Grind?"